The two things that ruined TWD finale for me

How far did you have to chase the mannequin for that leather jacket?

Okay, I’m going to skip all the plot holes and idiotic behavior of the characters.  We all realized long ago that if we want to keep watching this show, we have to accept the world they created…we have to “suspend disbelief” as the saying goes.  We have to accept that everyone on the show is a complete moron, with a split personality disorder, who has no ability to learn from yesterday, or even remember yesterday.  I have a theory that allows me to keep watching- the virus is also airborne and early stages of the disease have such symptoms as memory loss, erratic behavior, and the long term loss of 100 I.Q. points.

And sure the “cliffhanger” ending was sad and bush league, and made the extended episode a complete was of time.  For that matter it made the last 250 minutes of TWD a waste of time.  Everything in the last three episodes could have been done in 60 minutes, because you don’t need Glenn and the others to leave on their own.  All these characters could have just left with Rick.  They have all shown that they will willingly jump on board the bang bus and whistle on down the road for a solid anal porking the second the gate is open.  Much like a puppy ruining out the first open door in the dead of winter, hauling ass in a zing zag pattern as though somewhere in the frozen tundra is the most delicious dog biscuit ever made.  That tenancy has already been established, so there was no need for the previous episode at all, or about 30 -40 minutes of the season finale.  But..fine, they need to fill airtime.

So it is not the usual stuff that ruined this episode for me.

Sure every move Rick made after the first blockade was sheer incompetence, but his brain is suffering from those symptoms I mentioned.  Hell, if he wasn’t, he would have never gotten into the RV in the first place.   Aside from it being the most inefficient vehicle they have, which has broken down twice already, you would not transport a woman with unknown internal injuries in a 30 year old Rv with30 year old shock absorbers/30 year old suspension down a bunch of dirt roads…to bounce to and fro in agony,  aggravating whatever internal problems she has.  You would choose a newer car, with modern suspension. Actually, if you had a brain, you wouldn’t transport her at all.  You have a fully functional hospital, you would take here there, and go get the doctor and bring him to her. See…NOW, in our own non-apocaplytic world…do you drive the the doctors house? To whatever hospital the doctor is at?  no…you drive the the nearest hospital and the doctor meets you there.   You would bring the doctor to her, where he can diagnose, and stabilize her as best he can, possibly fix her, and IF there happens to be some equipment at Hilltop that you don’t have..you would then decide if is it better to transport the woman or the equipment.  Any 3rd grade boyscout knows that you move a person with internal miladies as little as possible.

BUT..long ago it has been established that they don’t have even the practical knowledge of a 3rd grade boyscout…so fine.

What DID ruin this episode for me are the two following things.

1- Their choice of actor for Negan’s right hand man.  He’s been in a bunch of other things, most recently on the very same network in Better Call Saul…rolling around in pain in a parking garage after being disarmed and pistol whipped by a 65 year old man.  I’m supposed to take that guy seriously?  Just seeing his goofy mustache took me right out of the world they created and left my brain replaying the scene from Better Call Saul.  Every scene he was in was completely ruined.  He was JUST ON THE SAME NETWORK, AS A HALPLESS BUFFOON.

TWDRHM2

TWDRHM3

If they are going to use someone who we are used to seeing as a buffoon, why didn’t they have HIM get killed with a rocket launcher and have this guy during the finale?!

TWDRHMHe was way more creepy.

2-Negan’s jacket.  All season we have been waiting for this brutal villain. He shows up wearing…the most ridiculously brand new leather jacket I have EVER seen.  Like this was taken out of the box, worn at the dress rehearsal and worn again for the actual shooting.  Could be it’s just me, I was born in Milwaukee, home of Harley Davidson.  Here, when you are a baby you are required to get vaccinated, and own a Packers jersey and a leather biker jacket.  Rough customers come from all over the U.S. for the Harley anniversaries, so I have seen all manner of biker jacket on all manner of individuals.  I have seen them worn by ruthless, frightening members of notorious biker gangs, I have seen them worn by optometrists in the middle of a mid-life crisis, and everything in between..and I have NEVER seen one so clean and polished.   Never. 

I don’t even know where they got Negans jacket, because even on the rack at Harley they are sold somewhat distressed. Negan was wearing the biker jacket equivalent of mom jeans…dark blue jeans with a crease ironed in them.  You have to WORK to keep a biker jacket looking good even IF you are not in the apocalypse theoretically getting into physical conflicts from time to time.  Is Hilltop making mink oil for him?  are they somehow producing black shoe polish?  Maybe they do, and we find out next season. However, not only was it shiny , it was clearly never worn.  Leather , fairly quickly conforms to the form of the wearer, it gets creases and groves in relation to your shoulders and elbows.  You wear a leather jacket for a few months and no one else can really fit into it.  That’s half the benefit of a leather jacket, it becomes a second skin.  Not Negans, his looked like he just took it off a mannequin “oooh look, that’s what scary bikers wear right?  I’m gonna wear that when I meet Rick”.  Until you wear a leather jacket for awhile and it has been broken in..it doesn’t fit.  That’s just the nature of a leather jacket, which left negan looking like he was wearing his big brothers coat, I couldn’t take him seriously. He was supposed to be a big scary violent brute, but looked like someone in a high school play of west side story.  The whole scene I was watching to see if the price tag was still on the sleeve.

This isn’t a little thing.  Costumes are important, sets are important, they help establish the world and the characters in the reality we are supposed to buy into and they up to this point have done a good job. This was the BIG REVEAL.  and it was equal to us watching Indianan Jones take his whip out of some hard plastic packaging, or Leonardo DeCarpo appearing in Wolf of Wall Street in a 20.00 suit from Kmart that’s too big for him. This villain, who is the violent brutal psychotic leader of other brutal psychos, was dressed like he just walked out of the fitting room and paid way too much for all the paraphernalia that a 40 dentist going through a year old mid life crisis  would, when getting bilked at a motorcycle dealership in hopes of feeling enough  like a man to get an erection again. 

My first impression of the notorious Negan, was that he got his leather jacket from the same prop guy as one of the Spice Girls.  Tell us what you want Negan, tell us what you want, what you really really want. Do you really wanna zigga zag ahh?

Clothes make the man they say, this goes double for a T.V. show.  Daryl has a well broken in Leather jacket, Carl is not wearing a ball cap with a propeller on it.  Why was Negan dressed like an mannequin at Wal-mart?

as for the cliffhanger itself…I know all the readers of the book think him beating someone to death with a bat is a big deal…but I have to tell you , in comparison to a dozen other worse ways I’ve seen people die on this show…that’s not that scary.  In fact if you gave me a choice of that, or having people eat my leg while I watch, left to bleed to death and turn into a zombie to then eat my friend, be started on fire, get my face chewed off by walkers, or fall down an elevator shaft to lie there as walkers descended on me…I would choose getting beat with a baseball bat every time.

As far as who dies, I would guess Glenn, but I hope it’s Maggie because this is ALL her fault.  If she had just agreed to the original deal from Hilltop…they would have all spent the day planting corn.

 

When Douglas is not complaining he and his work can be found here www.arseniclullabies.com

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