In case you’re confused, Jaimie Alexander is what a feminists looks like

This whole Hardwick fiasco needs to come to an end because I can’t handle having my mind blown every two days by stories of people bending over backwards trying to avoid having admitted they where wrong..

I’m sitting at my computer…minding my own business and on my newsfeed is some story about Jaimie Alxander sticking up for Chris Hardwick .  I click on it..it’s from a website called the mary sue.  If you’re not familiar with that website, I don’t think they’ll take it as offense at my description It a very pro feminist, pro woman empowering site and they are assertive and aggressively so.  I’d actually call the “aggressiveness” anger, and that’s not an insult. If you believe in something and want to beat people over the head with it…good for you.  It keeps us all honest.

They post a story that yet another women who knows Hardwick very well, Jamie Alexander,came forward to defend him, his personal character and him as a human being in general.

A woman comes forward, braving the trolls of twitter to stand up for what she believes… and it turns out it’s a story in which they are Griping?!  I thought this was a FEMINIST WEBSITE?!  Jamie and the others are strong willed successful, ambitious, bright women, who came forward at risk to themselves to help someone else…for zero personal gain.  And instead of pointing them out as an example to follow…they’re bitching?!  What the flying f*ck?!  Isn’t that the kind of character and courage we want young women to grow up to have? and young men for that matter?   Isn’t that what we should point to?!  I’ll answer for you…YES…IT IS.

These women are wonderful examples to show your daughters, or sons and say -Look, they came forward to say what they believed, even though it was hard, even though they didn’t have to, even though they knew many people would not want to hear it. They stood up for their friend when no one else was.   We should all have friends and women like this in our lives.

That’s a point, by the way that was lost on the Mary Sue…and I quote “All of these women have been put in an impossible, no-win situation. They shouldn’t have to defend the alleged bad behavior of the men in their life”

They didn’t “have to”…that is the point you missed. I say “you” because “you” are the only one who didn’t catch that.

I was expecting them to go on at length about how the weak man needed the help from the strong women.  Four brave women come to the rescue of some hapless guy who couldn’t keep his job..that was the angle I was expecting…since they haven’t posted jack squat about the situation since the deluge of evidence and testimonials that point to the accusation being complete fiction and they probably want to avoid having to admit that.  If it were me writing for them, trying to spin away from their previous bandwagon jumping, I would have been all “look at these four brave woman who came to the aid of an unemployed man and stood up for their beliefs against the knuckle dragging trolls of the internet”.

not them chastising them for being strong, or insinuating that they are so clueless that they cannot assess the character of a man they have know for over a decade.

Is this a feminist website or what?!

I’m telling you, if I hadn’t seen the name of the website and was just reading text I would have said “wow, this is an incredibly misogynistic webpage. They think women have no ability to determine the character of people they know, shouldn’t speak their mind, and should not rock the boat.  And Lydia Hearst apparently doesn’t get a say because she is married to him…once you marry a man you don’t get an opinion, the man is all that matters.  Can you imagine someone saying to a man that his assessment of his wife’s character is not valid?!

The mary sue, sounds like the people they claim to oppose.

Hey…get shut up Jaimie Alexander, your opinion is worthless, get back in the kitchen.

I take back the “you are the only one who missed the point” about them NOT having to support Hardwick. There was one loon on my page who tried to disregard their testimonials by saying they were manipulated by Hardwick.   He and the mary sue, while claiming to seek to empower women apparently have very little faith in womanhood.   yeah….bright, ambitious, driven, competitive women get a call from some  guy they dated five f8cking years ago and are just putty in his hands and march to the keyboard at risk to their careers.  Give me a f8cking break.  What world are you living in?  He’s a guy with a show on AMC, not Professor X.  Have you forgotten why this is going on at all? It’s going on because an ex wrote six sentences into the internet and it was enough to cost him his job….EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU RECONCILE THOSE FACTS, WITH YOUR INSANE THEORY THAT HE IS AN ALL POWERFUL HOLLYWOOD POWER PLAYER/MASTER MANIPULATOR.  He’s a master manipulator with all sorts of power over people’s careers…yet there he sits STILL without a job…?

I can’t handle all this mind blowing.

and by the way…what…why….how can you…

Give me second…my synapses are in a traffic jam…

You’re not going to believe this…this is what people who don’t want to admit they were wrong are reduced to…the mary sues says this—

For that matter, just because you like someone doesn’t mean that they aren’t guilty of some horrible shit. Human beings are impossibly complicated and nuanced. Why do you think “he was always so quiet” is the most common descriptor for serial killers? Ted Bundy had a fiancee. The Golden State Killer was married with children. PEOPLE AREN’T ALWAYS WHO THEY SEEM.

uhm…sure…actually, serial killers follow distinct patterns and generally have abusive childhoods, and always have a parade of red flags from childhood on.  People often miss seeing them UNTIL they are accused.  Then everyone puts their stories together and it’s as plain as the nose on your face.  What do we have after three weeks of digging into Hardwick?  anyone see him murder dog as a child? Did he come at his mother with a knife? Did his dad beat the sh*t out of him everyday? Has he been investigated multiple times from high school on up?  Because I missed those stories if they exist, all I see is a parade of people coming forward to say he is a really decent human being.

That’s the other point that was lost on them.  These the women don’t need to have known every deep corner of Hardwicks mind, It is nice to hear that they think he is a good person, but it’s an unnecessary addition.  Their accounting of his behavior of the time they knew and/or dated him is enough.  Because they have given us nearly 2 decades of women who he did not sexually abuse or show any tendencies towards having the clinical lack of empathy required for someone to be able to bring themselves to do that to another human being.  As I explained more in depth previously (here if you’re interested) sexual abusers are damaged people with sever character disorders, it takes years and often trauma to cause this and it takes years of therapy to attempt to be rehabilitated.   This is not a tv show, this is not a movie, this is real life, real mental disorders and one cannot turn them of an off at will.  That is NOT how it works, this is REAL LIFE. He would not be able to go from birth to 2011 never committing such acts, try it on for one relationship, and then go right back to normal.  That is a fairy tale. That is a made for tv scenario/level of understand of the actual issue.

The guy is 48 years old and we have NO instances of him EVER doing anything out of the range of normal.  There is no way to reconcile that with the accusation. If you don’t believe me, ask a psychiatrist.

But it gets better,

They bitch that Jaimie made an online petition that could be harmful to victims, because of the vague wording she used.  Jamie Alexander DIDN’T MAKE THE ONLINE PETITION…MARY SUE…it took me two seconds to deduce that.  I find it hard to believe that an activist website does not know what they are looking at when they go to a change.org petition.  So, I’m going to go ahead and call this a hit piece on someone for standing up for Hardwick.  The Mary Sue can’t read a change.org petition? Give me a f*cking break on that one too.

Their main problem with it was the wording of the petition could be construed as being against all Hollywood accusations.  AND, they have a point.  I said the same thing to the group that started the petition. Their response was ( I’m paraphrasing) we’re not Hollywood writers, we were in a hurry, and it doesn’t seem like we can change it once it starts.

Alright, sounds fair to me, anyone can make a mistake when they are in a hurry…LIKE NOT SEEING WHO ACTUALLY MADE THE PETITION.

And of course ALL of this is just a peripheral argument, which avoids them having to mention that Dykstra’s accusation now looks as reliable as a dollar store garbage bag filled with broken beer bottles.

But it gets better…

You, Mary Sue, pay close attention now because this is something that is indefensible to get wrong…in the first post of yours on the allegation you end with “Chloe, we believe you and we stand with you.”…In that same post you state “Dykstra’s account will feel hauntingly familiar to those who have experienced emotional abuse, as she details the control, gaslighting, and isolation techniques used against her.”

uhm…

She NEVER accused Hardwick OF GAS-LIGHTING or told of any behavior on his part that could be considered gas-lighting.  At all.  You “believe” her so much, you believe things she never even said!  She never accused him of that.  AT ALLLLLLL.  You “believe” her?  YOU DIDN’T EVEN READ HER F*CKING ACCUSATION.

THIS IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND HARMS THE ENTIRE MOVEMENT

Let me explain briefly what Gas-lighting it to those of you who aren’t familiar with the term ( possibly this includes the mary sue).  You know when a little kid does or says something bad, and you scold him/her for it, and they look up and insist that they never said or did that…even though you where both there when it happened. That is gaslighting…it’s sounds silly and annoying, but in an abusive relationship it can be constant and insidious and severe. It’s a tool made effective by attrition.  It’s combined with other tactics that stress the victim and all work together to break down their will.  It can make the victim question their own grip on reality. It’s vile stuff.  AND HARDWICK WAS NEVER ACCUSED OF THAT BY DYKSTRA.  AT ANY POINT.  So the Mary Sue either didn’t read the f*cking thing, or doesn’t know what gaslighting is. Get your sh*t together Mary Sue..women look to you for information and insight.  They should not be getting more of it, about a primarily woman’s issue, FROM A F*CKING GUY WHO DRAWS HORROR COMICS.

This website isn’t just failing women, it is failing all of us. It COULD be using this climate to do some good. To educate people, so that when victims come forward they might have people to come forward to that have some understanding of the issue and some understanding of what the victim is talking about.  But instead it is bitching about people who are trying to shed light on things.

YOU..Mary Sue…are supposed to be a site women go to, to get empowered and informed…and I am supposed to be a comically gregarious jerk.  Did I fall into another dimension?  Am I in the twilight zone? Everybody, feel around your living room wall and see if you can find the portal and pull me back out. I wanna come home. It’s madness here. Feminists are scolding women for speaking out, people think a guy who lost his job is secretly Kilgrave, a woman who doesn’t seem to have the slightest clue of how damaging sexual assault actually  is accuses a guy of it in a blog and then ends the blog complaining he didn’t love her enough and she wasn’t getting enough out of the relationship, and a cable network sees it and makes the first split second decision I’ve ever a cable network make.  and a feminist website dedicated to women’s issues either doesn’t understand what “gaslighting is” or never bothered to read the full accounting of a woman’s accusation.

and I have to say…I find this charming

“check yourself, before you wreck yourself”…that’s when you know you are on the side of truth…when you have to make veiled threats to people with opposing opinions to try to get them shut up.  That’s how Ghandi did it!  Who doesn’t remember his famous speech that concluded with “the rest ah y’all mutha fuckas need to shut up or get you’re gonna get ganked”.  Inspiring.

…okay…let’s wrap this up.

You know what would be helpful? If the Metoo hashtag was used for something besides sending accusations across the globe before the accused even gets out of bed.  Here’s a an idea…use that hashtag to spread some information, and educate people…hmm…maybe? maybe that would be good? So that the people you are hoping to get to listen to the victims ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT VICTIMS ARE TALKING ABOUT? …maybe?

Mary Sue…do your job and start helping people, educating people, and being an example of how to be a strong woman.  Don’t know how? I can show you five women who do.


 

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