The Walking Dead VS the 80’s

    I suppose the people of The Walking Dead SEEM pretty badass to a bunch of uncultured millennials.  But how do they measure up against some REAL badasses. 

We give to you

The Walking Dead VS the 80’s

Imagine them, head to head, in neutral territory.  Two men enter one man leaves.  That’s how they settled things back in the day.  We did our best to make things parallel, if not equal, and not put any ringers in…after all who’s going to vote for against  Rambo, or Bruce Willis ah la Die Hard in a head to head against any of these jerks?

Cast your votes for each in the comments section…who is more badass? 

twdSHANE FINtwd rick fin


TWD gov fin

twd mich fin

TWD carl fin

twd glenn fintwd gareth fin



twd lizzie fin twd walkers fin

twd abetwd daryl fin

TWD carol fin

There are your champions…choose well.

After tonight you won’t have TWD to look forward to, but Arsenic Lullaby is here for you all Holiday season long.  Whenever the holiday crap littering the internet start to get to you feel free to go to our main website and poke around.  We are the cosmic balance to all that is good in the universe.  The dark and acerbic ying to the holiday joy yang.

or just go here and get this sexy shirt to wear to holiday gatherings


Bookmark the permalink.


  1. I say all TWD people would lose except Lizzie, Carol, and Abe.

  2. Johnny lawrence

    Rick Grimes (only because the show has him as a main character and not replaceable.)

    Tina Turner, I still get scared watching her in that movie.

    Ripley, She saved the kid, not got it killed.

    Carl – he’ll shoot anyone, good or bad. Home alone kid needs electricity.

    Glen and Data are the toughest decision. If Data’s inventions work, he could potentially be unstoppable. Glen has been making some stupid decisions lately… I’m going with Data!

    Mola Ram. People aren’t going to be quoting Garreth 25 years later.
    The Stay Puft Marshmallow man would win, but the walkers wouldn’t really die, they’d just become absorbed into the marshmallow and you’d have walker limbs flailing around as Stay Puft continues to wreak havoc on NYC.

    Abe. Instead of turning him into a gross creature like what’s her face in Weird Science, Maggie tries to rebuild Abe. Now he is unstoppable.

    Han Solo

    I wanna go with Carol, but in the end I think I have to go with Princess Leia. She never gave up like Carol was going to. She got captured and she strangled Jabba the Hut with her chains! Is Carol going to strangle Dawn with her intravenous tube? Nah.

    • I think the zombies would be dead. If you crush their head they die, Stay Puft crushes cars when he steps on them…so I think they would be dead.

      Leia strangled a giant blob that couldn’t fight back where as Carol killed actual humans who where shooting at her, and she beat the cannibal lady hand to hand.

      I’m trying to think now…what has Han EVER done? after he shot the green guy in the bar…aside from flying in his ship, have we see him do anything?

  3. All ’80’s .
    their situations were with someone that could attack one way then change tactics mid confrontation. they would then have to adapt and overcome.
    TWD can solve their problems with a fence ! they have not faced any real challenge that they did not make themselves.
    Any match up would end in wholesale slaughter, Like a fat kid at a buffet .

  4. The walking dead sucks. Everyone from deadwood kills them all, then Al Sweingin kills them all. Al becomes president of the Western Hemisphere, and we all get syphilis and die. Meanwhile in the eastern hemisphere the people of Finland fight the people of Sweden for supremacy of of the Nordic nations. Unbeknownst to them though Eric the white dragon of Norway has risen to power and takes over Iceland and Greenland. Amassing a large enough army to dominate the region and slowly take over Europe, then Africa. Fearing the attack Asia bands together, and tries to attack the large Viking horde. They lose, and now Eric the white dragon rules the world. So to summarize… The walking dead sucks.

  5. Han is a guy just interested in his own stuff, much like Daryl in the beginning. Han’s blaster, (if he didn’t kill everyone with one shot) doesn’t take an off screen scene to load another round, like a crossbow. Han still has the Falcon.. where is Daryl’s poncho and motorcycle? No where! But he still has that useless crossbow.

  6. Why would they go after Greenland when it’s covered in ice and just about the same distance from Sweden than it is to the US?

  7. I dunno , Daryl never ended up in a frozen slab. I can’t think of anything Han did that was badass. besides shooting greedo.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Archives