Hardwick is not certainly not displaying any tendencies of an abuser

Earlier this week I gave you my thoughts on the sexual abuse allegations directed at Chris Hardwick by Chloe Dykstra. They are HERE

The story has continued.

A video from Chloe Dykstra has been dug up ,by someone else, from just after the surgery she describes in her blog/accusation on Hardwick.

It is here, it is long and rambling ( that in and of itself is no evidence of anything)at the 5:40 point she goes into great detail about how great Chris is.  That is neither here nor there.  Someone in a mentally abusive relationship may well believe their partner to be great…at the time.  It is at the 1:00 mark to about 1:20 that I’d like you to pay attention

What is damning is that in this video at the 1:00 mark she LIES to her fans,  She mentions the surgery is “no big deal” “kind of minor” “not serious”. In her blog/accusation however she says

(I was told I’d have to have surgery IMMEDIATELY because ectopic pregnancies are very dangerous and can often be fatal).

She lied, to her fans.  She did not need to do this.  She could have just said it was a private matter and she is fine.  She could have not mentioned it at all. But she did, she lied. Say whatever you would like about why or what …this is a lie about something life threatening, that she did not need to lie about. At no point has she ever made the claim that Hardwick would not want her to talk about the surgery or the specifics, so we have no reason to think she was lying for him.  In fact, he had spoken about the event publicly. She lied for herself.  This is not a lie about what music she likes, this is a lie about whether or not she almost died. She lied in this video OR she lied in that blog/accusation.  Either way she has shown all of us that she IS capable of a blatant lie about something very serious.  I said capable of it. Not every liar lies about everything, but, she is a liar.

She is also showing an ability to have a startling disconnect from reality, and  perhaps inability to grasp anything on a meaningful level…displaying a character disorder.  Take in the flippant giggly woman on your screen and realize that she had just gone thorough a surgery to stop a ectopic pregnancy, that was caused by her anorexia. Look up ectopic pregnancy  if you don’t know what it entails. She could have died and has been fundamentally surgically changed for the rest of her life. Look it up and absorb( a full-grown woman, 23 years old at the time)  her  disposition on that video.  A coping mechanism perhaps…a brave face for the audience perhaps…perhaps.  I will not deny that is possible, that is PERHAPS what we were seeing.  It could also be a disconnect from reality that comes with several character disorders that go hand in hand with anorexia…all those particular character disorders in question make someone capable of a making a false accusation of sexual abuse.

It is a startling bit if video and not because she gushes about Hardwick.

TMZ has released text messages from Hardwick to Chloe Dykstra in which he breaks up with her.  and texts from her pleading for him to take her back.  and some others from her trying to get back into his life seven months later.

Those are HERE   

***one side note, before I get into the larger more meaningful point.  She said in the accusation that she left him. These texts, if they are hers, show that he left her.  So…that would seem to be then, a lie.  Call it a big one or a small one or something that’s neither here nor there, you could make the case any which way and it would be a reasonable case, but this would be a lie.  A lie in the very blog in which she accuses him. and the lies are adding up.***

On average it takes a month for every year to recover from a bad relationship.  They dated three years, seven months later she was trying to get him back into her life.  She describes the relationship as abusive mentally and sexually.  It is easy to believe that after seven months she might not be fully recovered from such a thing, but it is NOT believe-able that after seven months she would not have understood that she should stay away from him, that he was dangerous.  IF she wasn’t lying.  The texts also seem to contradict her timeline of him blacklisting her.

HOWEVER…Here is something VERY important.  Abusive controlling individuals are very …template.  They have specific, tragic, patterns.  They have poisonous tendencies that they find irresistible. IF these texts, seven months later are from Chloe, and Hardwick did not respond…it is inconceivable to believe her story.  An abusie is fuel to an abuser.  A life line.  irresistible ambrosia.  While torturing the abusie emotionally, the abuser will break up with them from time to time, ignore the victim for periods, it is part of their sick dance.  But to ignore a text from a former victim seven months later..that is NOT the behavior of an abuser. IT IS NOT HOW THEY ARE WIRED.  An abuser would have replied, to get more fuel, to use the interaction to emotionally torture someone else for more fuel. An abuser would not have been able to do otherwise.

Abusers are themselves damaged people. Usually the result of childhood trauma.  They have what are called – character disorders.  There are specific disorders that come with being an abuser. They are the bloatware, the pre-installed apps that makes up the mind of the abuser.  These disorders come with patterns of behavior.  They are the by-product of what they are as people.  The tale of woe that Chloe handed the world had a lots of examples, and descriptions, none of them together add up properly. It was as if someone was telling you that-yes she owned a Volkswagen bug, it had a passenger side sliding door, and a side car, but she really hated having the whole thing tip over when she forgot to use the kickstand.  It was as though, she took a bunch of examples and stories she read and cobbled them all together without the basic foundational knowledge of how it works.

There was a mystifying lack of insight and even lack of the pattern of healing a victim goes through.

And now lastly this example of her texts to him.

If these are actually her texts, and he did not reply…combined with everything else we know, I will call her accusations a lie.

If they are her texts.  As of writing this, she has not responded.  Hardwick’s career was ruined within 24 hours.  He was not even afforded one day to cobble together a defense.  It has been two days since the release of these texts, and still no response from Chloe Dykstra.

She claimed to have evidence to release if she caught any flak…where is it?

I would like to remind us all that Chloe said “I have audio/video that will support and prove many of the things I’ve stated in this post. I’ve chosen not to include it for your sake, in the hopes that the person you’ve become will do the right thing.”

Hardwick came out and called her a liar. We have yet to see any of this evidence from Chloe.

and where is she? WHERE THE F*CK IS SHE?  You could not swing a dead cat without hitting her two days ago?  This woman and her tragic tale, told to us all, without us asking…where is she now?  She hasn’t been on twitter since these texts came out…two days ago. Before that it was a non stop teary eyed slumber party of her soaking in the love…of how brave she is.  Brave or… dangerous?  That depends on if you still believe a word she said.

Does she intend now to just walk away, ignore the whole thing. That also flies in the face of the pattern of human behavior, and it flies in the face of why she said she came forward.  This is the behavior of a liar.

Speaking of brave or dangerous…

The person who dug up that youtube video is Patty Hearst.  Goggle that name if you don’t know who she is. She has considerably more reach than scrolling through youtube. Considerably more. I would be shocked if it was not her who gave those texts to TMZ.  I would not be shocked if she got them not from Hardwick…but from someone hacking the phones.  There are people in this world you do not piss off if you have anything to hide. People who have reach and means and cunning. Patty Hearst is that type of person. I will not be shocked when more is produced.

Depending on the fallout, it is likely that Dykstra will become the poster child of reasons to not believe the victims.  People will be able to point squarely at her as a knee jerk reaction, and as an excuse to not believe.  This is terrible. This is exactly what I warned you about.  Out there..will be a victim who needs to be heard and believed…who will be that much more afraid to come forward, that much more worried about being called a liar, because of this. and because of everyone who swallowed her convoluted blog.  I suspect she is going to be savaged by the same culture she ran to with her rambling accusation.

***addition-Something I though that goes without saying…perhaps I should point out after all. These text TMZ put out.  These are not the only texts.  For that to be the case, a woman would have texted 12 times in one day looking to discuss being broken up with, and then never texted again for seven months. That is not possible. Such woman does not exist…for that matter such a man does not exist.  No person has that ability to have such a shift in gears emotionally to shift tactics so dramatically. Even if these were two completely well-adjusted people, in a normal break up, who both had perfectly healthy amounts of self esteem…the person being broken up with, who texted 12 times in a row….would not simply stop cold turkey for seven months.  If you believe that is possible you must have been dropped here from an alien planet two hours ago.  There is more, could be there is more responses from him as well.  She claims to have kept evidence, though has produced none so far. That’s why I have been saying “IF”.  ***

IF these are her texts and he did not respond.

If this is the case she can go to hell. Not because of what she did to Hardwick, because of what she will have done to the progress that was being made. and every single one of you who attacked Hardwick and gave no actual thought to the accusation, who gave no thought to fairness or even prudence, will shoulder the responsibility for the victims who will feel less inclined to come forward and get the help they need, and get dangerous assholes off the street and into jail.  You fools. You couldn’t wait for the fours days it took to bring in some evidence.  You just clicked, and read a headline, and hashtaged and tweeted…like it was a God damn game.

It is not a God Damn game.  You listen to me, flopsum and jestum of whatever cause of the day you see on your screen. RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND SEXUAL ABUSE IS DEADLY SERIOUS.  It DESTROYS PEOPLE.  That destruction has two parts- a victim, who will need to come forward to get help and to get part 2- The assaulter off the streets and unable to destroy anyone else.  The victim must be helped the assaulter must be stopped. Stopped from more DESTRUCTION.  Think LONG and HARD about how GOD DAMN SERIOUS this is before you crap a hashtag and tweet out based on no evidence.  Because if it backfires, if it is a lie that is devastating…to the other victims out there.

Victims worried they will be lumped in with the liars if they ever comes forward.  And some of them will decide not to come forward, not to get the help they need.  You fucking lunatics.

I could not be more furious.

If somehow this all just goes away, Hardwick takes the high road and she does not become the poster child for not believing, you damn well better remember this the next time.  I doubt it will go away. People of the tenancy to not believe only need one example to point to.  You may have given it to them.

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