The FBI caught a terrorist on my block…yes, for real.

 

I got quite a few responses to my blogs about a pending comic book crash and how to prevent it, some agreed, some disagreed.  However many where tired of hearing about the comic book industry.  Sigh…Fine…back to what a lowlife I am.

ISIS agent caught by FBI in my neighborhood.

Sigh…let’s have a brief recap of what has gone on in my neighborhood since I moved here. and I am limiting “neighborhood” to 5 city blocks.  (believe it or not as I recount things)

-Vandals started a truck on fire in the alley behind my house and it exploded.

-Some dipsh*t launched a military flare and it hit the roof of a Bacon processing plant, starting a fire near some industrial ammonia vats which led the mayor to evacuating everyone within a 2 mile radius.

-Several buildings have caught on fire ( yawn)

-Several high speed chases have ending in a crash just below my window.

-A mass shooter lived three blocks away.

-a high speed police chase ended in a crash right below my window.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a few. You can’t blame me for losing track,

Why, just last year some goof pulled a gun on me in the alley…pointed it right at my head. My response was- hey dumbass, that right there is the parking lot of a bank. there are video cameras all over the place-.  This was not an example of courage.  I felt no threat, no adrenaline rush, no fight or flight response. This was an example of understanding your surroundings, in that I mean any criminal operating here has more chance of having accidentally loaded the wrong bullets and having the gun blow up in his hands, than actually shooting me.  It’s simply the way things work around here.  If he was a competent criminal he’d live somewhere else…and he wouldn’t waste time pointing a gun at someone dressed like me.  I wasn’t exactly wearing a suit and a rolex…in fact he was dressed nicer than I was. He ran off by the way, and I went upstairs and continued on with my night.

SO…when I saw the news story that the FBI had caught some broad connected to ISIS.  As in legitimately.  As in she moved here from the middle east and was attempting to cause destruction in the name of her ideology.

You might look at that pic and think “yeash, must have been pretty easy to spot her as a potential problem…looking rough with that crazed look in her eyes.”  Nah…that’s pretty much par for the course around here.  Sure one or two can blame having dated me for the crazed look in their eyes, but the rest acquired it organtically.

 I was a little surprised in this regard-Why bother?  Why bother recruiting anyone from here, why bother sending anyone here to set up a cell?  What a waste of time.

What I wonder to myself was the endgame? What nefarious act could she have caused that anyone here would even notice?  Hmmm?  Any bio chemical she manages to release would be nothing compared to whatever chemicals are pumped out of that bacon factory in such potency that the entire block smells like bacon twice a week.  Any poison she pumps into the drinking water would be neutralized by all the lead.  We’ve already dealt with poison water by the way. The bridge taking the six lane highway into town almost collapsed on it’s own, our roads look like Baghdad circa 2002 and anything she would have managed to blow up would be assumed to be the result of a meth lab explosion and/or would be welcomed by the various owners of the blight that make up what used to be the business district…it would save them the trouble of committing arson for the insurance money.  We have no beloved landmarks or statues of famous residents, unless she is waiting around for the making of the George “the animal” steel statue.

Look…if you are an agent of isis living near me, come here, have a seat…listen closely. No one is going to notice anything you manage to do here and abandon hope of using this place as some central hub, the pot holes will destroy your axles if you try to leave.  There are only two city bus routes and they are both notoriously late, so if you have a dynamite vest set on a timer expect to blow up en route to where ever you where hoping to go.  Assume your higher ups already know everything I’m telling you.  You’re not going to work your way up the ladder, you’re not going to be given anything important to do…You’ve been sent here to die, and not in some glorious way.  In a “send him somewhere he can’t screw anything up” kind of way.  You can stop making sure you don’t leave the house without your cell phone.  Just take your burner phone and pager and throw them out. They’re not going to call you.  They sent you here to get you out of their hair until eventually the winters kill you.  …and they will.

You may ask yourself, why don’t I move? Why does this guy live in a neighborhood that on any given day the FBI could roll in and grab someone, you could need to be evacuated from fear of a factory exploding, and cars get set on fire…and I would say to you, you have answered you’re own question.  This place is never dull.  Besides, where else could I go where I’m not the lowlife?

Funny side note, in the midst of a gen-u-ine terrorist being found…someone else had a concern about garbage cans-

Personally I’m more worried about ISIS, meth dealers, or street gangs taking over…but yeah, flies are annoying. smh

You can’t make this stuff up.  The thing is, this place is right by the lake.  So would be yuppies see that, see how cheap they can get a house and think they found a bargain. Sure…it looks real pretty…except everyone else around you is living here because none of the landlords are legit enough to know how to use a credit check.

If ever you find yourself bored on FB stop by the ole “Cudahy City Hall”  it’s a riot.

…probably not, no one else is stupid enough to drink the tap water.

In case you were wondering, the drug in question was meth.

anyhoo…

Don’t forget that coupon code -voodoo- is good for 20% off ( yes it works now, Joe fixed the glitch) at the online store ( pick something up, I may want to by a flak jacket one day)

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When Douglas is not complaining, he and his work can be found here

www.arseniclullabies.com

Have friends who might like Arsenic Lullaby?…tell them to sign up for the Arsenic Lullaby Email HERE.  Thanks in advance.

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