Gail Simone’s got big news!(…yawning and confused)


Gail Simone’s go big news!

Gail Simone’s Red Sonja #1 Goes To Second Printing, After 35,000 Sell Through

Her first issue of Red Sonja has sold out at the distributor level!  which means…nothing actually and doesn’t even make any sense …”distributor level?”  See, how it works is, the distributor places an order and you send them the books…there is no “sold out or not sold out at the distributor level”, there is an order and a filling of the order.The distributor places the order based on how many books the stores asked for, and gets the books from the publisher and sends them to the stores…who sells them to fans.

…GAIL WILL NOT KNOW FOR SOMETIME IF ONE SINGLE ISSUE WAS ACTUALLY BOUGHT BY A READER…or if stacks of them will be in 50 cent bins in a few months along with stacks of 1990’s image comics.

So,with this new knowledge of book distribution you now know that “sold out at the distributor level” merely means her publisher is either lying or is so fundamentally stupid as to print the books before knowing what the order is.  but hey, this is a woman who considers herself -being fired- by DC  from writing Batgirl…when she didn’t actually have a contract and was working like  99% of the industry as basically freelance, you’re on the book until they decide to put someone else on the book…by that definition of “being fired” Jack Kirby was fired from the Fantastic Four.  Some days people acting like rank amateurs, buffoons and lying to fans amuses me, some days it annoys me.  Guess what today is.

This broad is a buffoon.

I”quit” Mad Magazine this winter, did you see me send out a big press release?  Did I get on the internet and cry and whine about Mad?  No, why? Because I AM A PROFESSIONAL.  Not a five year old who cries and thinks everyone should feel bad when people aren’t nice to me…by “not nice to me”  I mean “treats me like everyone else who’s ever worked in the industry.”

I have no respect or pity for anyone picking at the bones of characters old enough to be my grandparents that have already had over 120,000 pages written about them.  You work on Spiderman? or Superman? or Batgirl…congratulations, you are the current hack keeping the books on the shelf so that the licensing agreements stay valid…nothing more.  Creatively you are one small step above whoever writes coca-cola commercials. You can pat  yourself on the back ( if you can reach your back ) about what ever “new spin” you did on the character…but the truth is the tits on the cover are selling the book and no one would even notice if the whole story itself was a script from 40 years ago…other than it would probably be better.  Here’s a good test-  take your  script, remove the famous character everyone already knew and loved long before you came around…and ask yourself if anyone would pay one single dollar for it.

Among her quotes was this tripe ” I am probably sounding a little bit maudlin right now, as I feel a genuine sense of loss. This wasn’t just another assignment to me.”  To bad Gail, because that’s what it was.  An assignment.  You are a professional, you get paid to write a book until they stop paying you to write a book.  Batgirl was conceived of and made famous what…50-60 years ago?!  She didn’t lose anything.  “loss” ?   It wasn’t her character, she rehashed an old old old old idea for the 5006th time and got paid for it.  There are people out there who actually created characters and had them stolen by the publishers…that’s “loss”. 

AND by the way after she cried and blubbered about big bad big publishers she took one stab at self publishing and then immediately went back to working for another large publisher.

No doubt she sent the very first press release on being “sold out at the distributor level” to her mommy so she could tell Gail how special she was.

Yeash…this business, I tell you. There are more people today running around trying to get noticed by being absolute frauds and clowns than the actual content of their books than you can swing a ham sandwich at.

Congratulations to Gail for whatever the fuck “sold out at the distributor level” means for writing a T and A book that appeals to 13 year olds who want visual foreplay before searching for actual porn, about a character someone else thought of and made famous before Gail picked up her  first crayon .

It’s a sad state of  affairs when the guy who draws this stuff is the only one acting like a professional.



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