No that’s not a typo, I meant “Dave” and not “Doug”. When I said earlier this month that this website is now your online destination, I meant it. The blogs are going to come fast and furious, the podcasts are returning, and videos are on the way. For all this to happen though, I need a bit of help. Fortunately for me…I know a few people who know how to make use of an outlet like this. Allow me to introduce Dave Steward. Dave is the first to step forward to start a weekly Blog here.
I told Dave he could do whatever he wanted, talk about whatever he wanted, whether I agreed with him or not, as long as it’s entertaining. In this particular case…my take on all this will be covered in a podcast we’ll be putting up soon. For now, the mic belongs to Dave!
here we go
Welcome to my first blog here at the Arsenic Lullabies website! Who am I? I’m just a broke ass stand up comic with lots of shit to say. Why am I here? Well, my good friend Douglas decided to take pity on me and let me say whatever I want to his fans! I jumped at the chance because I know his work, and if you guys are fans of it, I knew there was nothing I could say that would be off limits here!
So Bill Cosby is a rapist huh? Allegedly. But where there is smoke there is fire. If it was one or two women coming forward I might throw the old guy a bone. But once your accusers start reaching double digits? You did that shit. Now, can I prove it? No. Will he be arrested or convicted of anything? No. But he did it.
Want to know how I know he did it? Because he’s a human being. Let me give you a little advice that will save you a lot of heartache and indignation when people disappoint you. Everybody sucks. Everybody. What rankled me about people coming forward to defend him is that some were saying he couldn’t do it because he’s so likeable! Shut the fuck up. Of course he’s likeable! He’s a paid pro who has spent years developing his craft and image. He only shows the public what he wants you to see. You don’t know him, I don’t know him. But I do know that he sucks. why? because we all suck.
Everybody is shitty in one way or another. That’s science! I bet Mother Theresa had a gambling problem or something. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. I just wanted you to have a picture of her in her nun gear at a poker game pulling an ace out of her habit. But face it, in one way or another we all have something shitty about us. It could be minor or it could be that you’re a serial rapist. But you are shitty.
Now I said that people defended him because he’s likeable. I need to amend that a little. White people defended him because he’s likeable. Black people defended him because he’s black. Because in the black community we have the nasty habit of defending our black stars when they do wrong. We think that this is a conspiracy to bring down a successful black person. Wake Up! Stand up! Shut up. Were there conspiracies in the past against black people? Of course. But you know what? All that conspiracy crap lost a lot of weight when Barack Obama got elected President. So you know what? No conspiracies anymore. Are there people who hate black folks? Sure. But do they have a vast conspiracy that can bring down powerful black people? Hell no, or Obama would never have made it.
So lets not “OJ” or “MJ” Cosby and defend him. Just accept that he did that shit. Can I still watch the Cosby show and laugh? Can I listen to Thriller? Can I watch the Naked Gun? Of course. I can enjoy his work and still recognize that he’s a shitty person. After all, he’s only human.
Dave, the black guy
Dave Steward is a voice actor, actor, and stand up comic who can be seen at the Comedy Cafe and other venues.
you can follow his 140 characters of wisdom on twitter https://twitter.com/Realdaveblack