It has become a tradition somehow that every week on Facebook I give “spoilers” about what is happening on The Walking Dead while the show airs. …Here are the “spoilers” from The Walking Dead” in the order they appeared as the show aired this week
***Walking Dead Spoiler aLERT***
Someone just drove a car into the train!…oh…wait, this is the end of “dirty mary and crazy Larry”…where’s my remote? Oh **Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry** spoiler alert. they drive the car into a train.
***Walking Dead spoiler aLERT***
They all lift the kid with the sheriffs hat up through a slot on the top of the box car. He squeezes though and runs off…and keeps running. he eventually runs across the old broad and the black guy with the baby. He gives them the finger as he runs past. He eventually runs all the way back to the town that the governor set up a couple seasons ago, and calls his agent to get him off this stupid show.
***Walking Dead spoiler aLERT***
The actor playing kid in the sheriffs hat has been replaced by the midget from game of thrones. He is clearly not thrilled with the roll and only giving a half assed reading of his lines, which keep beginning with “aw gee Pop, do we gotta?” . He has just been informed that there is no frontal nudity on this show to which he replies “well then what good is she?!” (pointing at the black girl with the samurai sword). A fight breaks out between the two of them. simultaneously the black guy traveling with the old broad looks out the corner of his eye and gives a big sigh of relief upon hearing there is no frontal nudity on this show. The old broad yells ” I heard that!” and a fight ensues between them. Meanwhile the original actor playing the kid in the sheriffs hat practices taking a big spoonful of frosted flakes and pretending they don’t taste like syrup on a wheat thin…and waits for a call from his agent.
***Walking Dead spoiler aLERT***
The actress playing the old broad has been replaced by Larry King in a wig, the Black guy has been replaced by Ice Cube, the Black lady with the samurai swords has been replaced by Martin lawrence in the “big momma” fat suit. The director then states that anyone else who values their dignity over a easy paycheck can leave NOW. It is at this point the asian guy looks around and realizes all the zombies are wearing pink ribbons in honor of breast cancer awareness month and leaves the set. He is replaced by the kid who played short round on the Indiana Jones movie, and internet myth has become reality. From out side the studio fence Eddie Murphy looks on eagerly for his chance to star once again.
***Walking Dead spoiler aLERT***
To get everyone back on track the director informs the cast that one of the extras in zombie make up is actually an Ebola carrier and yells “action!”. The cast refuses to follow the script in which they run out of the box car and engage the zombies and instead do some weird artsy off Broadway dialogue through the slits in the planks of the box car. The director likes the idea but replaces the sheriff guy with the neighbor from Tool Time ( or whatever that show was called with the neighbor who always talked through the fence). Meanwhile Eddie Murphy has bribed a make up guy to put him in zombie make up and snuck onto the set.
***Walking Dead spoiler aLERT***
The director announces that filming is done for the day but secretly records everyone running to the desert cart for later use. The finger food they jam into their talentless maws will later be CGI’d to appear as bloody organs …or missing children if black mail is required later. Eddie Murphy sneaks into the now vacant box car and sleeps in a warm dry place for the first time in months. …..This concludes our broadcasts day.
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