Captain Marvel- since when does “Diversity” mean a white blonde with a flat ass gets the lead?

…You know, I really didn’t think this would bother me as much as it is. I didn’t think it would bother me at all in fact. It could be it’s the continually cold, bleak, gray unending winter suffocating me, making me want to lash out…but THIS is NOT Captain Marvel

THIS (below) is Captain Marvel.

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See that up there? That’s MY comic book, from when I was a little kid. And THAT is Captain Marvel, real name Monica Rambeau …a hot black chick with an afro. Who EARNED membership in the Avengers after going through a training program from Captain America…and she ended up becoming the LEADER of the avengers.

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Spoiler alert….it was her.

She LEAD Captain American, Thor, She-hulk and Namor. She fought Nebula, Baron Zemo, Dire Wraiths, and I can’t even list how many other major bad guys.

This f*cking broad…

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has been banging around Marvel comics never amounting to jack squat, since she was crapped onto paper back when comic books were making a half assed effort to get a few girls to read about super heroes.

And notice that the title of that book is MS. Marvel, not Captain Marvel. Because THIS was Captain Marvel

and then THIS was Captain Marvel

That Captain Marvel (directly above) actually had a fleshed out personality, a fleshed out past which explained in a logical fashion how she ended up with her powers and why she was able to maturely deal with having them. And when she go her power…she made a logical, reasonable decision to go find help learning how to use them. Following her story was interesting and exciting.

MS. MARVEL never made a lick of sense one way or the other, lasted about 40 AWFUL issues and then the editors mercifully had a super villain ( Rouge, who was far more interesting ) steal her powers and dump her in the ocean. This was Avengers Annual no.9 , first appearance of Rouge, cameos by the X-men and Spider-Woman…what?…no YOU’RE a NERD. I’ve been to jail twice and can rebuild automobile engines from scratch…and I work in the comic book industry…It’s my job to know this stuff. …it also featured the brotherhood of evil mutants.

ANYWAY…

The “character” of Ms. Marvel popped up again over and over with half assed explanations for what the f*ck she is even still doing alive, while never actually mattering to any story she was in or to any sizeable amount of fans at all…ever. …and I put that “character” in quotations because really all she is, is a costume. Wolverine is a character…you can tell his personality from the person standing next to him, he is unique. Steve Rodgers is a character. Wanda Maximoff is a character. Captain Marvel/Ms.Marvel is a costume. A costume that no one ever gaf about that now for some reason, not only has a movie, but is apparently considered the most powerful character in the MCU.

Low be it from me to argue with the people making the movies…but I think you might choose your words more carefully. The most powerful character in the MCU is Captain America, with a close second being Thanos. and if you don’t understand why that is….you probably don’t understand a single page of any history book you ever picked up. BUT, I get it…you meant super power, not actual “power” like being the figurehead people believe in, of an ideology that people will fight and die for. I get what you meant…who can shoot the brightest laser blast.

I’m not sure how you quantify who’s got the most powerful super power, that’s tough for anyone to decide on…but it seems to me that Hela was second only to Odin, and we never actually saw her die. and the Ancient One was arguably more powerful that Odin and she COULD still exist as a spirit or something. Thor became powerful on the level of Odin and Hela by the end of Thor 3. The Scarlet Witch is powerful enough to destroy an infinity stone and hold Thanos at bay for a brief time while doing so. and Hank Pym has the ability to “alter the very fabric of reality”…that old white guy has the power to shrink or grow part or all of any object or entity down to as small as sub atomic and theoretically then, conversely, large enough for the very molecules to break their connection to each other and drift away into nothingness…that’s pretty powerful.

So…this version of Captain Marvel is more powerful than all those men and women?

I guess she is, that’s what they said…clearly they weren’t talking about her charisma.

But y tho

Why? You have all those other powerful characters I listed to work with…wtf throw this D list character into the mix and make her more powerful than the characters you been selling tickets because of for 10 years? Why, after getting your return money by getting people emotionally invested in these characters…would you hint that their fates are actually in the hands of some fcking broad they never heard so much as a whisper about? That’s fcking stupid. That’s one of the dumbest f*cking things I ever heard of. That would be like the end of “Lost” stupid. That would be like the return of the Jedi ending with a stray comet hitting the death star. The only way this makes any sense is if you are short selling your Marvel Stock and have secretly already signed a deal with DC.

I hope…I HOPE…it wasn’t done for the sake of diversity. I hope that wasn’t the case…BECAUSE…as far as diversity goes…HAVING A WHITE, BLONDE, YOUNG, AMERICAN, ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, as the lead ISN’T VERY VERY F*CKING DIVERSE. Especially when you glossed over the actual Captain Marvel to do it

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AND…you skipped over using Hela ( what? too old?) the Scarlet Witch ( What? no good because she’s not American?) and the Ancient One ( too old? not hot enough?) Not to mention Shuri from Wakanda is pretty science savvy and could have been used to save the day with science. IF this was for the sake of diversity… you skipped over the idea of using the a female black scientist, the original Captain Marvel – a middle aged black woman, Scarlet Witch- a eastern European immigrant, Hela- a woman in her 50s, The Ancient One – also a woman outside the normal age demographic of an action hero, and every other MCU character …to make the person who saves the day- a white, blonde, attractive American in her 20’s

Here’s a big golf clap for that idea.

Whatever…I have my Avengers Comics with the REAL Captain Marvel in them.

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I’ll just read those while theaters are running a fraud of a “Captain Marvel” featuring some flat assed cracker in a bmx bike outfit.

It’s a shame tto, because the MCU already had the Captain Marvel I knew and loved 75% done in Luke Cage. The character of Misty Knight could have easily been turned into Captain Marvel. All that needed to be done was split her story off before she loses her arm in a fight, into Monica’s origin. Although I do understand that Misty Knight is a character of some note in the comics…she is at best a D list character, as opposed to Captain Marvel. Anyhow…my point it that is could have been done the right way.

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Oh..one last thing…where in the blue hell is Spider-Woman??? She’s been a key component of just about ever major story line that the MCU took from the comics to use in their movies…where the fuq in SHE?! She was key in Civil War, Secret Invasion, Age of Ultron, she was a Hydra Agent, a Shield agents…fck..she’s the one who recused Ms.Marvel from death in the first fcking place.

Is this some right issue and Sony owns her? or did they just forget she exists?

Who knows…I’m sure they get around to ruining her at some point. Maybe for the sake of diversity they’ll make her a white guy with a dad bod.

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When Douglas is not complaining, he and his work can be found here

www.arseniclullabies.com

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