On a normal year, by now you’d have seen a “the road to CCI Part2 ” “…part 2″ …”part 3” and so on by now, complete with declarations of what we’ll have for you at the booth. I’ve given some thought to my normal approach to the big show…as far as declarations…and the universe. The mechantions of the universe.
There are things I don’t believe in, that at the same time I see to be true. Things I logically view as mumbo jumbo , like the effects of the moon phases on people, or the alignment of the planets on the trajectory of your life, or that stuff where people say they can figure out what kind of year someone is going to have with some mathematically calculation based the date you were born…things that are nonsense, yet seem to be true every time I look.
Things like mass consciousness, or large groups of people all being able to affect an outcome based on focusing their wills on it. ( PUT A PIN IN THAT ONE…I’LL GET BACK TO IT), I’ve been thinking about these things.
And I though about how I promote the what and when of what I’ll have at CCI…and then I thought about how it normally goes.
There was the year the TSA told me I couldn’t bring ANY of my checked baggage (which as you can imagine, contained 100 pounds of vital gear for the show) because it smelled like chemicals ( the “chemical” was paint thinner…because I had painted the banner the day before and spilled paint thinner all over everything)
There was the year the hotel cancelled my reservations and there was not a single hotel room available in a 20 mile radius and I had to couch surf for five days and shower at the local gym.
The was the year the books showed up printed backwards
There was the year the books showed up with pages printed out of order
There was the year the books didn’t show up until friday
The was the year the books didn’t show up.
There was the year(s) the display had to finished/fixed during the show
There was this year- see how the “Arsenic” looks hand painted and the “Lullaby” looks professionally printed? That’s because the banner company, instead of sending me one side saying “Arsenic” and the other saying “Lullaby”…sent me two banners that said “Lullaby”. Yeah, that’s the name of my book Lullaby Lullaby…morons.
Note woman in the foreground, look how happy she is passing by and seeing “haha Doug got f*cked again, I love this show”
Let’s NOT forget the year I sliced my hand open with a box cutter 45 minutes before the show started, and had to got through the entire first day in blinding pain, before being able to go to a hospital and get the required THIRTEEN STITCHES
…am I forgetting anything? I’m sure I am. Every single year is some surreal train-wreck for some reason or another, often several reasons. It has come to a point where some bizarre instance will happen that would be a great story for anyone else…but for us is just business as usual and not even worth noting. Someone brought something up from last year that they thought “that sure was weird, huh?’…I didn’t even remember it. In comparison to a normal day for us at CCI…it wasn’t even worth noting.
Oh, and let’s NOT forget the year the printer shipped ten grand worth of hardcover books…with NO protective packaging…so like half of them got damaged.
sure…just send them in a think single box and chuck a few piece of cardboard in there , they are only traveling 3000 miles…perfectly reasonable to assume they’ll be fine. for f*cks sake.
Speaking of these being “a great story for someone else”…you all sure get a kick out of hearing about the train wreck, don’t you. You can admit it. Somewhere in your mind, while you do root for me to have a good show, you clandestinely look forward to hearing about some calamity. I thought about that, and then I thought about the ole theory that people can all focus their wills on an event and change the outcome.
Is is possible…that as I announce my plans, the grand total of your collective willpower is focusing on my having some clusterf*ck happen? For your own amusement? Perhaps subconsciously? ( It better be subconsciously) Like many things I do not believe, that I grudgingly accept as seeming to be constantly true…I’m going to say it’s possible.
So, this year I will say this- I will be at Comic-Con International booth 2200. I will have…stuff. That is all. See you there. bring cash and energy drinks, and perhaps a first aid kit.
…I am saying that much, because I have the plane tickets, and all the paperwork done and all my ducks in a row as far as getting there, entering the building, and having a 10×10 spot to stand it. Although now I am wondering to myself, If announcing only that will have the dark parts of your minds all able to focus on me getting F*CKED that way somehow.
Everyone think good thoughts. See you at the show.
When Douglas is not complaining, he and his work can be found here
Have friends who might like Arsenic Lullaby?…tell them to sign up for the Arsenic Lullaby Email HERE. Thanks in advance.