someone find this kid in four years and send her this letter.


Saw this story being “shared” on social media as though it was sweet and cute.  It’s is neither. It made my skin crawl.  If you actually think for a moment, your head will spin…especially when you READ THE PARENTS QUOTES Read it, then come back here.

Parents Get Tattoo Of Daughter’s Birthmark So She Won’t Feel Different

Someone out there who knows these people, give their kid this letter when she’s in grade school.  I’m serious.

Dear kid,

I saw the story about your insane parents and thought that about this time you could use some positive reinforcement.  There is nothing wrong with being different.  In fact there is no way to avoid it.   It’s okay to be unique, and have quirks, and flaws, everyone does. Everyone is different, which is a miracle when you think about it.  Billions of people on this planet and no two are the same.  Isn’t that amazing?!   So many people and they are all different.  You have an edge up on some of them because of your birthmark, you stand out from everyone else just a little bit quicker!

Don’t feel too different though, when it comes right down to it, a birthmark is pretty low on the list of things that can separate someone from the rest of humanity. You’re going to still have to work at standing out from the rest of us, by using what is inside of you.

What is inside is what counts. It is who you are that matters. Some people are always positive and kind, some people know a lot of stuff and always have an answer for something, some people are good at doing stuff and always helpful.  That is the kind of unique that matters most!

The more you grow up, the more you’ll understand this.  Maybe by now some kids at school saw your birthmark and made a crappy comment, or made up a silly name.   They’ll lose interest in your birthmark and move onto picking on the kid who can’t jump as high as everyone else.  I am a white male , completely healthy, with blue eyes and a lovely smile, yet I got picked on for a while for being smaller than the other kids.  Some other kid got picked on for being fat, some other kid got the business for a while for wearing glasses.  It has nothing to do with you.  It isn’t personal.  It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Kids are mean, and school is boring.  They don’t understand it hurts, they just have a lot of awkward nervous energy they don’t know what to do with. It smarts for a day or so, then they forget about you and you forget about it and you all go back to playing dodgeball.

Just be a good person, and you’ll be fine.  People notice physical differences a little bit, but they notice who is good and who is not good much more, and they notice that forever.

Probably by now at age 5, you already understand what your idiotic parents didn’t and don’t, that a birthmark ain’t a big deal.  But I am telling you this so you keep it in mind as they count your eyebrow hairs each night and pluck one hair out of the uneven side, or make you throw up after desert so you don’t get fat.  Being fat doesn’t make you a bad person, having bushy eyebrows doesn’t make you a bad person, nothing related to how you look makes you a bad person. What someone looks like has no bearing on the quality of person they are. Just take a look at your parents, they are good looking and they are dreadful people.

Here’s a quote from your mom.

She’s struggled to breathe when she was first born and was rushed to the special care unit. When I went to see her she was just lying in a little incubator and that’s when I saw it. It broke my heart.

I just sobbed and sobbed knowing my baby was going to permanently marked for the rest of her life.

You almost DIED and your insane mom was worried about a birthmark.  Many parents would have been praying somewhere, making any lopsided deal with God for your life and if they got a response like “okay , she’ll live but she’ll have a birthmark” they would have cried tears of joy and laughter!  So, keep that in mind, you can probably let any advice from your parents that doesn’t involve the gym or hair styling go in one ear and out the other.

Hell, you can probably google birthmark and get seven zillion websites full of people who think your birthmark is a treasure…you should probably make sure the parental setting are set to “safe” before you do that lest you get an entire new set of issues.  The point is, find something you are good at and work on that.  Everyone is different on the outside, but everyone is also different on the inside.  Everyone has some special gift or talent.  What’s yours?  Figure that out!  Work on getting better at it. You’ll find other people who like doing that thing, and make lots of friends and be perfectly happy.

While you are probably self-conscious about some thing or another thanks to the two narcissistic a-holes who  are raising you, there is probably some kid in the back row in school who eats paste who is making you a valentine’s day card, who is going to get punched in the head by some other kid who is also making you a valentines card.  Neither one of them gives a damn about your birthmark.  If you were born with horns and a tail and were a good person, people would like you and think it’s cool that you have horns and a tail.  Good people don’t care what is on the outside anyway, spend time with the good people, stay away from the bad people, be a good person.

Take all this advice to heart and it’ll protect you from most of the screwing up your parents are trying to do to you.  You probably won’t come out completely unscathed, no one does.  So when you are a bit older, you’ll probably be screwed up enough to read my comics and get a good laugh.  Assuming I am still in business and haven’t faked my own death, or sold the entirety of my intellect property and moved to Athens, you’ll be able to find them here-

end letter

These people are insane.  and they didn’t get these tattoos for the kid, they got them for themselves. They got them because they are the kind of insecure lunatics who see an old couple whispering and assume it is about their daughter, assume it is about the birthmark, and assume it is a negative comment. I sincerely doubt that in 2015 two old people were giggling about some 18 month olds birthmark.  Hell, they probably grew up before there was a small pox vaccine and half the kids died or were crippled.  They don’t give a rats ass about a birthmark, if they could even see it.  But these two a-holes are so screwed up they assumed that.  I would have assumed they were talking about their granddaughter because my kid reminded them of her, or what they are going to have for dinner.  Actually I wouldn’t have assumed anything, because I wouldn’t have even noticed because, I would have been busy playing with my kid/making sure she doesn’t bust her head open on something/making sure she doesn’t try eating any dirt.

You believe these excerpts?!

Phillips, who has three other children, covered Honey-Rae’s legs whenever they went out to avoid stares from strangers.

Phillips says it’s well worth the price of her daughter never feeling different again.

I don’t even know where to start.

A- the kid has zero concept of notion that her birthmark makes her different.  Hell, at this stage she doesn’t even know, really, what the difference between boys and girls is.

B- She thinks a tattoo on HER body is going to stop someone ELSE from ever feeling different EVER again.  This isn’t just a mild case of narcissism.  This is a actual problem.

C- there is nothing in inherently wrong with feeling different, some people lament that they feel ordinary.  No thought is given to the notion the kid might like her birthmark and think it is pretty. because what the parents think is the whole world in the minds of the parents.

D- what stares did she think they were avoiding?! Lady…no one gives a sh*t about your kid unless she’s crying and throwing a tantrum in a restaurant.  If your kid had two heads…MAYBE….Maybe, people would give her a second look while going about there busy day.  It’s a birthmark, she ain’t the elephant man!

Did I mention narcissism? She is bordering on a debilitating mental issue.  This woman may be a psychopath.  She is demonstrating the lack of ability to understand that other people are individuals and are not directly connected to her life and have minds and wills of there own that operate separately from her existence, her mind does not compute that these people have no interest in her, are not there for her, do not notice her. This woman is not being sweet, or cute, or loving, this woman has a serious mental health issue.

You’ll note that she got her husband the tattoo first.  did not do it first or even it simultaneously.  She had him get tattooed over a year ago.  This story hit the news this week when she got hers.  Any bets on who informed the news?  Because I have a 20.00 bill here that says it was her.  Let’s do a bit of math now.  She “made up HER mind” that her husband would get that tattoo last dec.  that would make the kid 6 months old…seems like it’s less and less “for their daughter” don’t it?     Covering her kids leg in public because she lives in a reality where people who are complete strangers, would be staring at a birthmark.  That is more than a small mental glitch.

This kid should be grateful that when she was born there was not the technology to predict a birthmark through DNA or something like that because it is 50/50 they would have aborted her and started over.  Think that was a harsh thing to say?…she was sobbing and sobbing over a birthmark on a kid who almost died.  You wonder what kind of asshole would want to genetically modify their kids hair color, eye color, ect….well now you know.

ugh…this poor kid.

Oh…I mean KIDS.  For those of you still thinking she did this out of love for her child and that is well meaning if nothing else….In case you missed it, this woman has more than one child.  Those of you out there with siblings…how great does this idea sound now?  The other siblings…how swell do they think it is that Mom and Dad got a tattoo just like the birthmark of ONE of them…the youngest.  The issues just keep piling up don’t they?


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  1. This is pretty much the greatest thing to come from the internet in a while. I also thought the parents were insane, worrying about a permanent mark on their child….. so they got permanent marks.. And if they think about it, your parents aren’t going to make fun of you, so if they look like you, as an adolescent you’re probably thinking it’s the worst thing in the world! Just like a mom who borrows their kids clothes. Stop it mom, it’s not cool.

  2. cripes that is a great point….imagine being 16 and having the same birthmark as you mom…and you mom explaining all this? talk about getting picked on.

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