This weeks blog from Dave the Black Guy!
Christmas and Assholes
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Meh, I don’t know. I tolerate Christmas. But there is a lot of stuff I hate this time of year. I hate the cold. I hate snow. I hate crowds. (Damn it Walmart! I just want to buy 48 rolls of toilet paper! Now I’m stuck behind the dregs of humanity doing their last minute shopping.) I hate spending money on people. It’s better to give than receive? Are you kidding me? It’s always better to get!
But I tolerate it because I am a believer. Yes, I believe in God and Jesus Christ. So I put up with a certain amount of crap during the holidays because, you know, Jesus. But the thing that I hate the most during the Christmas season is the rise of the assholes.
A lot of assholes who happen to be atheists feel the need to increase their assholish output this time of year. They feel that just like a vegan at Thanksgiving dinner people want to hear what they have to day.
Shut the fuck up. I applaud your atheist beliefs, I will fight for your right to be an atheist and not be persecuted for your beliefs. But its Christmas now, so do me the honor of shutting the fuck up.
Now, not all assholes are atheists, not all atheists are assholes. But atheists that are assholes love to shout against Christmas decorations or saying Merry Christmas. As if the twinkling lights are burning lasers to atheists, or me saying Merry Christmas turns me into Voldermort and I just threw the death spell at you. Relax. Unclench. Maybe I missed the dark times when atheists were locked up in camps during Christmas and force feed figgy pudding while watching Rudolph on loop 24 hours a day.
If you don’t believe in it you have the right to shut the fuck up. That’s the great thing about this country, even though we have free speech we also have the right to keep our yaps shut when nobody is being hurt.
So if you are an atheist during this time of year just do what I do during St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo, shut the fuck up and drink.
Dave, the black guy