People hit with chairs at Dragon Con

These Comic-cons, they can get sketchy at times

I saw some news stories about chairs being thrown from the tenth floor of a hotel during Dragon Con.  The chairs hit two women, one dressed as Loki. The police, at the time I’m writing this, had no one in custody. So, with no one in custody, I’d say it’s pretty unfair to assume this was done by a Dragon Con attendee, or was even related to the event in any way.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA….I’m just kidding. These comic-cons, they can get pretty sketchy after hours. That’s the only thing in the stories I’d call unfair-them showing pictures of the con during the day and not mentioning it happened at 1:30 am until late in the stories.  Kinda gave the impression that at any point at a comic con you could be randomly killed from above by a chair launched out of a hotel window.  It’s not the wild west…during the day.

But let’s do the math here.  We got a lot of teenagers and people in their 20’s…who have had their imaginations on full blast all day long, and a lot of the women were dressed in tight fitting and skimpy costumes.  By the night hours that adds up to one thing…trouble.

First off, I can tell you right now the numbers of sexual assaults are wildly unreported.  I’ve seen one or two stories in the last few years…it probably happened several times at every medium to large sized show. I was at a con years back where there was a more severe case of this about five minutes after I left the party.  I know because the cops called me when looking for witnesses (NOT because I was a suspect). I had left so I wasn’t much help. Ladies…keep your heads on a swivel and try not to go anywhere alone, don’t let anyone you don’t know hold your drink, always bring pepper spray.

That’s the more nefarious stuff, there’s also the dopey stuff that turns out badly.  Men, think back to your twenties and add the elements I described. 20 something guys will do dumb sh*t to impress women when they are at work at 3pm stone sober.  These guys are drunk in the middle of the night at a party with women dressed in spandex and capes…they have about a 1% chance of leaving that party with any dignity, and without an injury and a disorderly conduct ticket.

My gift for being a lightning rod for weird sh*t happening around me during an average day is one of the reasons I just go right back to the hotel room and watch basic cable after the convention is over.  I go to a party once in a blue moon, it’s always a kaleidoscopic scene of douche baggery ranging from moronic to pompuse to self serving to just dangerous.

“Oh, and I suppose YOU never engaged in any stupidity”

…we’re not talking about me here…alright, we’re talking about comic-cons after dark in general.  And for the record, I never did anything that was a danger to anyone but myself and my equally foolish buddies.  Anyhow, those days are behind me and I go back to the hotel and watch pawn stars…safely…with no risk of incarceration.

I think my favorite thing I ever saw was a guy getting arrested in Chicago at a party after a Wizard World show.  It wasn’t so much that it was an oddity but the “cinematography” of it because of where I was sitting.  I was in a chair against a wall, minding my own business waiting for someone and the event was taking place half in and half out of a hall way, maybe ten yards away on my right hand side.  So I couldn’t see the hallway itself, I could only see things happening as they were in the room leading to the hallway.  The dope has gotten to grabby with some girl and the cops where questioning him/arresting him.

That’s a tough visual to explain…here-

The douche (and just picture your standard douche here…average height, semi hipster-ish semi frat boy-ish with a cowboy hat) trying to talk his way out of it and the cops aren’t having it. And, as drunk as he was, the dope realizes this. Chicago cops don’t   like chasing people.  These were fat cops and fat cops really don’t like chasing people…and they have somehow evolved blinding speed within a close radius. they are like alligators, they are really fast within the first 20 feet but if you can get past that you’re home free.

He didn’t make it out of arms reach. and they was a back and for struggle with the guy getting pulled into the hallway to be cuffed. and from where I was sitting I just saw his head and arms poking out reaching and grabbing at the wall and floor to try to pull himself free.

“I just want to go home!” “it’s cool man!” “I’ll be cool! Just lemme go home!” “I’ll go right home”.  He cried as his head and upper torso would sporadically pop into view. One time he had even managed to hook his leg onto the wall leading into the hallway. at the end he had his fingers dug into the carpet and was being dragged into the hall like a scene from a horror movie, leaving just he cowboy hat laying there in my view…then silence.  It was…awesome.

So, I can’t say I’m surprised that some chairs went over the balcony of the tenth floor of a hotel at Dragon Con, I’m a little surprise no one was sitting in them at the time.

That’s at night…during the day, Cons are basically fine.

I tell you all that so you won’t be offended if you see me at any of these up coming shows and I decline any invitations.

THE COMIC CONS YOU CAN SEE ME AT THIS FALL ARE…

Cincinnati Comic Expo

Sept-22-24th

Grand Rapids Comic-con

Oct. 20- 22nd

Rhode Island Comic Con

Nov. 10-12th

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When Douglas is not here, he and his work can be found at www.arseniclullaby.com

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