My birthday is Nov.23. It’s a big one. I won’t tell you how old I’m going to be, because you wouldn’t believe me anyhow…I’m way to pretty to be that old.
I’ve accomplished a lot..and there are only a few things I’d still like to do, but the normal question at times like this is -Do I have any regrets in life? To be completely honest, I think I probably regretted every thing I have ever done about twelve seconds after I did it. However..I have in my own small way made life a little more tolerable for some of you and so now…is when you ingrates start giving back.
You had a chance to vote and have me win the Shelf Dorf Award for best Original Graphic Novel…but I didn’t win…some other asshole has that award, it’s probably sitting on his desk right now. It COULD have been sitting on my desk as I drunklenly watch the page peel back from the calendar revealing my decrepitcy, and I could have been thinking “well…at least I have a faux crystal trophy stating I have accomplished something”…but NO. Only a small percentage of you all needed to vote to make that pathetic but tolerable scene reality, and you chose to instead blow off the opportunity and click on past to some cat meme. well, now is as good a time as any to make up for it.
SO…what do you give the man who hates everything?
In these tough economic times many of you might not have extra cash…that is NO excuse. I use soda bottle caps for ink wells and can never have enough of those. Candy is always welcome, I prefer gummy candy of all shapes and sizes but the root beer shaped ones are my favorite. I use – rapidograph ultra draw black india ink and go through a lot of it…so those are all free or cheap gifts that will make my coming birthday a little brighter.
You could also send me a card or your own drawing of one of my characters…seeing you all fail at drawing what I do so well that it looks easy would certainly cheer me up.
But of course the greatest gift of all is knowing that you enjoy my work…meaning you own some… cough, cough, buy something off the website cough, cough.
Douglas Paszkiewicz
4730 Packard Ave
Cudahy WI 53110