I have three more convention appearances slated this year… r.e. Three more instances of being treated as the comedic and illustrative genius that I am, and not the weird degenerate living above a print shop in a crappy neighborhood…which I also am.
I’m looking forward to these conventions, which as you know isn’t always the case…often times conventions are a necessary time wasting evil, done for the sake of my ego and bank account.
This is where I’ll be in Cincinnati this year. It’s a good show, run by good people, with a solid bank of talent and exhibitors. I started doing this show it’s first year and it has quickly grown into one of the best in the entire mid-west. On the off chance just seeing MY smiling puss isn’t enough, I hear tell that Joseph Michael Linsner and Kristina Deak-Linsner will also be there. Helping me at this show will be…my father. So if you ever wondered what exactly happened to me in my childhood that forged into my brain the ability to write the warped, horrifying tales that I do, you can ask him…I don’t remember anything from age 4 until I moved out of the house.
Brazos Vally, Texas.
This is the first time I’ll have ever been to Texas. I planned a road trip there once, years ago, but only made it to Oklahoma before realizing that cross country road trips are one of those things that seem cool in movies but SUCK ASS in real life.
SUCK…ASS. Imagine being in a prison cell that will crash and explode if you fall asleep, that’s what a car is after about 8 hours of driving. Nothing is interesting, all conversation has run dry, the thought of any more gas station junk food makes your skin crawl…and you start to imagine that the dead animals on the side of the road are giving you the stink eye.
I’m flying to TX this time though, so this should be much more fun.
It’s a strange guest list at this show and that usually makes for a weird and cool show. I’ll be there and so will Sara Richard and Craig Roussaeu…and a bunch of other people that might be fine but I won’t vouch for ’em.
If you’ll look at the homepage of the website you’ll see Sara on the scrolling banner…but not me. I’m just putting that out there…the powers that be can do as they wish, and I trust I don’t need to bloviate on about my considerable resume. But I do have that in the holster if need be. You know…the award nominations here and in Europe, the 6 years of contributing to Mad magazine, The work appearing on Comedy Central…that stuff. Oh, did I just mention all that, after I said I wouldn’t? Weird.
What are you looking at me like that for? These are the last few shows. This is all I got to get through winter. After these are over I’m not famous again until like March or something….what if I wanted to google myself in January? Or click back on this site in morose reflection during the long bleak winter? I’ll see a Sara Richard, with a smug look on her face as if to say “I’m more important than you…see? See how I am on the head banner and your picture is AN ENTIRE CLICK AWAY! Ha ha”. Look, go ahead and look and tell me that’s not written all over her face. THERE…you see? You see it.
…it’s just that…I’m a whole click away from the home page. You gotta click to the “guest section”. I’m just stuck on that page with the flopsum and jetsum, next to some guy from some show called Stranger Things and comics legend Howard Chaykin. Wait a minute… SHE is on that page TOO! She’s on the website TWICE…W-T-F.
hmm…how is she BEFORE me on the guest page? Last time I checked “R” comes after “P” in the alphabet. Oh, this needs to get handled. This is egregious . This is worse than the time Brent Peeples got more candy in his welcome package than I did.
That’s all I got for now.
When Douglas is not complaining he and his work can be found here www.arseniclullabies.com