It’s the 150th anniversary of Alice In Wonderland. Quite a milestone for a book. Sort of. Just being 150 years old is more or less inevitable, barring any unforeseen apocalyptic obliteration of time itself. Alice in Wonderland is 150 years old, Arsenic Lullaby will one day be 150 years old…hell, one day I will be 150 years old. No doubt sleeping with one of your grand daughters and telling myself I am going to get it together and stop dating women who are too young for me. Would Alice be to young for me? I see a lot of versions of Alice where she is all softcore porned up…Halloween did that, it killed the notion that some things just and not meant to produce a boner. Sexy Alice in Wonderland costumes, Sexy Muppets, Sexy Teenage mutant ninja turtles costume ( that’s real…look it up). You name it, there is a costume of it that a 20 year old girl can wear and inspire erections while defiling your childhood memories. Do you remember the muppets? Did you like them? well now so does your dick…tell that to your psychiatrist. We have forgotten that Halloween is supposed to be about….trying to poison neighborhood children who want free candy.
I suppose sexy Alice is the least weird since there is probably all sorts of innuendos you could read into that book… Eating things that make you grow, twins, red queens…walruses. Yeah walruses…Ron Jeremy kinda seems walrus like to me, like if you were going to pick any cartoon animal to draw him as, a walrus would be a good choice, you sure wouldn’t make him a gazelle. Alice being about ten years old though makes the sexy Alice thing a bit odd, but whatever. If that’s the sort of thing that gets you off… don’t make no never mind to me. There are worse ways to get a boner…like flying to Africa and spending 50,000 to lure a lion out of a zoo and then shoot it. For the record, I don’t care much about the lion, but when this sort of pure, unbridled douchebaggery is displayed…it should be mocked and stomped out as an example, as a cautionary tale.
This lion killing guy, displayed so much douchebaggery I don’t know where to start. First and foremost, and a prime element of being a douchebag is pretending you are something you are not. He is a dentist, not a hunter…you are what your check says you are. You reach middle age and have a crisis and write a vanity press book, you are not a “novelist” you buy a 4000.00 guitar and write a shitty song you are not a “musician”, and you drop 50,000 and travel to Africa and shot a Lion wearing a collar you are not a “hunter”. So there is that. The cost also makes him a douche bag. For 50,000 you could go to Africa and buy a village and declare yourself KING, have an entire concubine of women and give them all gold neck rings ( That’s Africa right?) , or if you want excitement you could hire a bunch of mercenaries and attack some ISIS stragglers…all this guy got for his money was a big dead cat. And were does he keep getting 50,000 of disposable income anyway? According to the interwebs he’s done this sort of thing a few times. I know dentists ain’t exactly getting by eating ramen noodles but maybe the Five-O might want to check the comings and goings of the codeine in his office. Anyways, that’d be a good Halloween costume for a couple- sexy hunter and Lion or visa versa.
There are sexy costumes of every character in Wizard of Oz. Sexy Dorthy sure looks a lot like sexy Alice if you ask me. Now that I think about it, the stories are pretty similar. Young girl goes to some magical land accidentally, meets all sorts of weird creatures, spends the whole time trying to get home…runs afoul of some tyrannical and powerful scary broad with solders..then it all turns out to be a dream (spoiler alert), they are both veiled political commentary (that’s true…look it up) Just now as I am typing this…I realize I may have swerved into something. Wizard of Oz was a total rip off of Alice In Wonderland.
Anyhow I drew this to break in a new brush (SEE PICS OF IT PROGRESSING BELOW ). “Break in” isn’t really the right term, more like test it out or get used to it…make sure it doesn’t have a stray hair that likes to flick out 45 degrees west while you are inking. Sometimes with new brushes you get one or two hairs that do that and you just clip them off…no YOU are boring everyone. FINE. here’s a picture, I’ll probably make a print of it. It is for sale…uhm…I dunno..first 200.00 takes it home, I’m not really attached to it at all and I am sick of looking at it. FYI the best time to get a price on artwork from me is right after I finish it, because after so much time looking at it, I just want it to go away. After a couple of weeks pass I forget what a pain it was and realize the actual market value of a finished piece of work by someone of my skill level, unique style, formidable resume, stature in the comic book industry and fan base…you know what…make that 400.00 …nah…200.00 just get it away from me. It’s 11×17, it looks cooler in person. I’ll give you a week to get it from me…then I’ll send it to Bob to sell for me at Comic Art House. Bob gives no f*cks about my emotional or lack of emotional attachment to an illustration and will actually charge you what it is worth.
douglaspasz (at) arseniclullabies.com
There’s a different Alice Print up at the online store, maybe I’ll make a print of this one too..I dunno. This Blog is sort of not that thought out, but I’ve been neglectful of updating so I am back to -just write whatever once a week-
COUPON CODE – THRED- is good for 20% off. Why THRED? Because we are on THRED now. Don’t know what that is? That’s because YOU are old and out of touch and I am ahead of the curve and that is why I date younger women and YOU don’t. haw haw.
ALSO I will be at Cincinnati Comic-Expo! Sept. 18-20
and Baltimore Comic-con Sept. 25-27th