here is what you want to have happen in the super bowl…if you are a jerk.

Not a footlball fan?  tired of hearing about the super bowl?  HERE is what you want to have happen…THIS is what you want to have happen…two things

First, you want the Patriots to win because everyone thinks they cheated to get there.  So if they win the whole thing will be forever tainted…for…eve…er.  Anyone who is not a Patriots fan…is by and large hoping they lose so the that game retains it’s (cough) credibility.  So you want the Pats to win, preferable with a bunch of questionable calls by referees.  In fact, if you are stuck watching the game…every time a penalty call goes the Pats way…scratch your chin and mumble “yep…the game is rigged”.  I doesn’t matter if you have no earthly idea what is even going on, it will still poison the game for the football fans around you to a subtle degree

A blowout!  You want the game to get away fast.  You want the Patriots to take over right from the start and never look back. You want the game to be completely out of hand as fast as possible, so there is no drama , doubt, or question whatsoever who is going to win.  Why?  because people will stop watching, people will get bored, in many cases people will get disguised.  And that means….ALLLLLL that money and effort spent on the halftime show and the commercials…would be a waste!  Tell me that wouldn’t be hysterical!  Some company paying 4 million dollars for thirty seconds because they assume several billion people will be watching, and in fact only a couple million as still viewing by the time their commercial airs.  Katey Perry strutting around in whatever ridiculous outfit with all sortsa dancers and crap…all for 1?4 the audience she thought she was going to have….In the words of Nelson Muntz “haww haww”

That’s what we want people.   We want the cheaters to win, we want them to destroy the other team so the game isn’t even fun to watch and companies will think twice about investing in the NFL superbowl.

“but Doug..you are a football fan. Why do you want this?”

Because…I’m a jerk.  And the glee I get in watching things go to hell supersedes my fandom.  Plus…I’m a patriots fan anyway.

GO PATS!