This week’s blog from Dave the Black Guy !
Reasons I am Thankful
So we had Thanksgiving last week. Like the 4th of July and New Year’s Eve, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a day where I don’t have to do anything except eat and drink. Not like those other holidays that just make you work and buy people stuff. Stupid other holidays, making me work and stuff.
Anyway, as I sat at my mother’s house stuffed and drunk off my ass I came to the conclusion that I have a lot to be thankful for. But at the same time I have a lot to be unthankful for too. So for this blog entry I decided to list these things, because why the fuck not?
I am thankful to live in this country at this time. God bless America!
I am unthankful that I live in this country with other people. This country would be so much better if a lot of people weren’t in it. Most other people suck. I hate them and they are ruining my nation. Not you, you’re cool. You know who I mean. Them.
I am thankful that I am in good health.
I am unthankful for my doctor. He is always on my ass about something, blood pressure, cholesterol, weight. For crying out loud Doc, I’m not trying to win any gold medals here. I just want another 25 years. Let me eat some chips for the love of God!
I am thankful that I have a loving family.
I am unthankful that I have this family. They are the reason I drink. They are trying to kill me. I’m serious. If I turn up missing tell the cops to check my backyard.
I am thankful for Kentucky Bourbon sour mash whiskey. For the above reason.
I am unthankful for the idiot who decided to put honey in whiskey. That shit is straight nasty. I drank that stuff once and had to stop before I finished the drink. Did you hear me? I didn’t finish the alcoholic drink!
I am thankful for the Green Bay Packers. Thank you sweet baby Jesus for Aaron Rodgers.
I am thankful that all other teams and their fans can suck a big bag of dicks and die.
I am thankful for recorded history. Hitler, man he was a douche.
I am unthankful that a lot of history is unrecorded. I want to know who invented shoes? What was the first word uttered? Who was the first guy that tried to talk his girl into a threesome?
I guess I’m thankful for a lot of stuff. But I also have a lot to be pissed about.
Dave, the Black Guy
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