Young people…FEH!

see this?!

it’s a sticker for a hip college  kid type radio station…I’m hip, and “with it”.  I listen to local underground music, not top 40 nonsense like you old people!  I’m DONE with people my age.  I tried it.  I tried hanging around and surrounding myself with people age appropriate…It didn’t work, all they talk about is what’s starting to go to hell on them- their back problems..their knee problems…this hurts, that hurts, I used to be able to do this but I can’t anymore.  blah blah blah. It’s enough already.  I didn’t let myself go to hell, and it wasn’t that hard.  I’m in the same shape I was at 22…better shape actually, what am I supposed to add to that conversation?  Advice?  It’s too late, your done.  You ain’t gonna be able to just start going to the gym and eating right and reverse 15 years of decay.  Just shut and fall apart and don’t bother me about it.  And every reference they make is to some show, movie, or song from 20 years ago.  Clerks was like 20 years ago! I’m sick of hearing about,  and I’m sick of Kevin Smith.  Having the same build from when you were 22 is one thing, but change your clothes you dork.  I don’t want to talk about clerks, how we all saw the original; star wars in the movie theater or Nirvana.  Nirvana sucked, the only reason we listened to them was it annoyed our parents.  I don’t think I understood three words Cobain ever sung.  He sounded like he had a shotgun in his mouth the entire time he was singing.

So I have started listening to newer music…hell the music I listen too is so new even -shazam- can’t find some of it.  Shazam is an APP on a smartphone..that you don’t know how to use.  and when I try to explain it you go ” I still can’t figure out how to set the clock on the VCR ha haha”…what’s a VCR?  I don’t even know! I don’t even know what that means because I am hip and modern.  Here, let me turn up the station for you and open your mind to something new…like this song here…cripes this kid is whiny.  Every song on here is some kid crying about a bad relationship.  Any relationship that ends in your early twenties is a good one because you are young and stupid and shouldn’t be making a life long commitment. The singer slept with a 22 year old and then she left, that is NOT a problem.  Stupid kid…I wish he’d have knocked up that broad, and got married…then he’d have a sad song to sing…about how he can’t afford a guitar anymore.  Ugh…it sounds like he tuned that guitar by beating a hooker with it, but I bet he didn’t,  kids today don’t do anything fun.  they just sit on the computer, Sure you can talk to a hooker on a computer, but can you leave any bruises?  How’s the next john gonna know someone else was just with her?

and why are they still wearing skinny jeans?  I really don’t understand that from a practical standpoint.  Young people wearing baggy pants I understood…they are at the peak of hormone production and live in the golden age of pornography and they can get it ALL on their smartphone.  If i was 22 right now I’d have to have baggy pants because the only time I wasn’t walking around with an erection would be when my smartphone battery was dead.

Feh! Young people are stupid too.  Who am I supposed to relate to down here?  are space aliens real?  Maybe I can bag one of those.  They look are bony and grey though, at least that’s the common description. I could get past that I guess since they don’t seem to have any hair…so…no hair down…you know.  The big eyes would bother me.  I scream “don’t look at me” enough to broads with normal sized eyes.  Ah who am I kidding I’d just bury my head in the pillow and pretend they were someone else anyway, I do like with human women.  I wonder what kind of noises they’d make…I bet it would be high pitched and annoying.  Forget aliens. I hear they implant tracking devices in you…If I knocked one up there wouldn’t be any escape even if I gave a fake name.  I ain’t raising no hybrid, it would probably have all sorts of health issues and cost me a ton of money, and have an attitude because he’s “different” .  Cry me a river kid, when you’re so different you can’t related to people your age or people who aren’t your age then we can talk about “different”.  We could write a song about it but I had to pawn my guitar to pay for your braces. Go play with your sister…I’m being very careful to not give her any attention so she grows up and becomes a stripper and at least ONE of us in this family makes some money.  Aw cripes, your mother’s home.  I’ll be in the basement, i gotta look at pictures younger nude alien women so I have the image fresh in my head in case she wants to “do it” later.  Maybe I’ll just turn the music way up so I can’t hear her calling down the stairs at me…with that f*cking screeching voice of hers.   I’m gonna put that college station on and listen to some kid sing about problems that aren’t really problems.

…it’s late and I’m tired. Tell your store to order my newest comic book collection.  Details at this link.  samples below.