Despite not having cable..I am able to not only watch The Walking Dead but see it before it airs through the power of deep mediation and mind altering amounts of caffeine …a dosage of caffeine so high that when I am not moving causes my body to actually vibrate forward into time…here is what happens this week.
8:05
The army guy, the scientist, the Asian guy and three women are on a bus driving from Georgia to DC. The Army guy begins talking about the book he going to write about all this once it’s over. the discussion goes like this…
Army guy- I’ll embellish it a bit for the sake of the reader but it’ll be true to the actual events y’know…none of that hollywood BS.
Scientist- much of what we are doing is classified
Army guy- once it’s over, who gives a sh*t? I didn’t sign anything, I risked my life, I have a right to tell my story .
Scientist- still…it should be against a code of ethics…among solders.
Army guy- what the hell would YOU know about it?! We risked our lives and for what?! a college loan? until YOU volunteer to put YOU ass on the line ,shut your mouth! It was probably one of you eggheads who caused all this.
Scientist most of you people signed up because you don’t know what else to do or saw to many movies…and by the way…if one of us DID create this virus it still pales in comparison to the amount of VD GI’s spread across the globe in WWI, WWII, Korea, Nam and lets not even mention the illegitimate kids you’ve littered the world with. For all we know some GI knocked up this guy’s ( pointing to the Asian guy) mother and whistled on back to the U.S.A. after Vietnam…with a case of the clap!
Asian Guy- What the F*ck?! EXCUSE ME…
Army guy – ( waves off the Asian guy in a “I got this” motion)- We got those cases of VD protecting people like YOU!
Scientist_ you got those cases of VD because you couldn’t get laid in the U.S.
Army guy – You couldn’t get laid on a planet where 90 of them men are zombies…you a-holes probably started this virus to wipe out guys with bigger dicks than you…guys like ME!
Scientist – You are a red head and therefore of Irish decent and that leaves a 87.5 percent probability that you penis is…
Woman 1- Gentleman…none of us want to hear about your dicks.
…the rest of the trip goes by in smothering tense silence.
Because that is what a road trip is…it’s not happy fun time let’s load up with munchies and have a ball. It is everyone getting along for about 15 minutes before some conversation turns into an argument and sours the entire journey…and once it is over no one wants to ever see each other again.
8:55
They all get out of the bus in DC with no one having said more than two words to each other in 18 hours. The army guy is informed that vital information is on a hard drive back in Georgia and off line…He must go back and retrieve it. He turns to the others.
Army guy- well…anyone want to go?
The others shrug stock up on food and get back into the bus.
This concludes our broadcast day.