I may, in a small way, contribute to a robot uprising,

but I'll also know how to deal with it.

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How about this, a rare instance of the weekly update actually coming out one week after the last one!  This one's short and I'm getting it out now to help plug Berserker Comics new issue of "Under The Floorboards". For you stores out there, looking for a cool indy horror comic, this is distributed through Diamond.

Previews magazine order code AUG250565

Now then...onto complaining. 

(If at any point you've lost interest in what I'm complaining about, as I yell into the rabbit hole of pencil lead packaging, there's a bunch of comics for you at the bottom)

There are two kinds of people in this world, people who chat with cashiers, oblivious to the line forming behind them, and people who swear at their automatic trunk opener because its too slow, and yank at it as it slowly raises. I have, over time, worked rather hard to not be the worst version of that second type person...I am constantly tested and lured towards backsliding, by the very "advancements" that were theoretically created to make our lives easier.

Here's a question out there for those of my audience well into adulthood. With all this technology and advancement we've watched and lived through...is anything actually any easier? or perish the thought, more convenient?

Because it don't seem like it is. It seems like everything is a tedious mess, filled with nonsensical bullsh*t, to do what we had previously all managed to do, without it, a decade ago. Like we are living in a world created by people looking to justify their skill set, who have never once in their life been in a hurry.

I bet I spend ten minutes a day proving I am a human...to a computer.




It's all death by a thousand cuts...pointless b*llshit in your way, of whatever tf you're trying to do.

And the Captcha is the most asinine of all. "verifying you are not a robot". It's NOT verifying that. It's not taking my pulse or feeling my breath...it's verifying that some task was done on my end of the interface, that matches some sort of parameters. What's to stop someone from writing a bot program that can fill the same a parameters? Nothing.

Which is why they keep coming up with new captchas, because the other side keeps neutering them by coming up with bot programs that can solve them. It's a snake eating its tail, while I sit in the airport trying to find important info before my phone ,which is giving me a 1% life warning, dies.

A previous version of me would have the battery die while trying to solve a captcha and scream smash the phone on the ground, terrifying some small child. I didn't like the version of myself, so I've grown above it. Through much effort, brought myself to a more adult level of handling frustration/stress. Yet, constantly in the background, waiting for a moment of weakness... is this kinda bullsh*t...

 Perhaps, better than a Captcha, would be asking for access to my microphone, so it can hear my very human frustration and rage as I shout "oh this mutherf*king half in a box, half out of a box, streetlight again".

When they do finally perfect actual walking talking human looking robots...I'm buying one, so I can beat it every time technology, I never asked to be forced to use, is f*cking up my day.

Me- All I want to to is check my flight, and my laptop has decided Microsoft must, right now, forcibly install an "update"...you know what THAT means, robot.

Robot- No...please (it'll say this in a emotionless tinny robotic voice...because that's an option I will request)

Me- Yes...get  over here and bring my hoochie beater.

Robot- I ...do... not... understand... this... term.

Me- yes you do...right there, the lead pipe wrapped in a beach towel.  Bring it.

Robot- I was... programmed for sex...wouldn't you rather...have sex

Me- you were programmed to respond to physical stimuli. Everyone else can use that for what they want. I... am using it to hear a robotic scream every time a Captcha pops up when I'm trying to do something. NOW, when we're done here and I send you to the grocery store, if someone notices your dents, what do you say

Robot- I ...fell...down...the...stairs.

Me- Thaaat's right.

Along the same topic, I shall briefly vent about pencil lead. I do what's called "traditional art", which means instead of drawing directly onto a tablet or computer screen or working digitally, I use pencil, ink, brush.  I use actual physical drafting tools, to draw physical lines on physical paper.  Every line on the pic below was drawn by hand and inked with India ink and a brush. That illustration is 11x14 inches (ish). That's not showing off, it's making a point of how in tune I am with the tools I use.

(pages from a 9pg story in "From Under The Floor boads" issue 7 Written by Andy Brown, Illustrated by me from Berserker .  Previews magazine order code AUG250565

There's a new aggravating aspect to this, the less people that work traditionally the less traditional tools are sold, and so they keep discontinuing everything I use. This is a problem.

First off, if you have been around anyone who's at the top of their profession you know there's little things that they require to be specific, that you wouldn't normally think about or think matter. Let's take baseball as an example. If an all star batter is used to a 30oz bat and has to use a 32oz bat, that can screw up his whole swing/timing. Two ounces is only the weight of two slices of bologna, but when you are at the highest level their is, a 2oz difference in bat weight can throw a monkey wrench in the works.

Every profession, once you are at a very high level has minutia, that laypeople might never consider, that can ruin you're whole day. The wrong guitar pick, bad snow board wax...what have you. You get to a level where the paraphernalia you use is specific and second nature. If you have to change it, there's a tedious adjustment period. 

With that all in mind, I recently found out that UNI stopped making soft blue 0.5mm pencil lead, and that's a problem.

Two reasons I use(d) this lead. First...it's light blue and will not show up when I scan a page in black and white...so I don't have to jack around erasing or doing a lot of post production clean up.

I think I went into a little last time, that printers used to use an actual camera to shoot the art and make film from it, and there was a threshold in black and white, at which if it wasn't black enough...it just didn't show up at all in the final printing. Thus, non-photo pencil lead was developed so draftsmen could make notes that would not appear in the final product. They don't use a camera anymore but the non-photo works the same scanning something in, in black and white.

They don't even make the non-print anymore, and they only make the actual non-photo blue in a thick size I don't use, but the Manga/Amine illustrators figured out that the "mint blue" from UNI works the same.  

Second reason I use the UNI lead is it doesn't smear, even though it's soft.

 The thing with lead, how hard or soft it is matters a lot. Different people have different preferences but in general softer is better. Soft lead leaves a mark just touching the paper without much weight being applied, and flows across the paper easily, like writing with the nicest ballpoint pen you ever used. And hard lead  digs into the paper as it makes it's line, like writing on cardboard with the back edge of an ice skate.

Keep in mind, the intricate detail in my work means many long hours, and the worse the lead is to work with the harder it is on my fingers, that already have 300,000 miles on them and are well past their warranty.

They didn't actually discontinue the specific lead I use. ACTUALLY, according to the website, they "improved" it. "making it sturdier" (harder).  It tried it, it sucks now. What they did was make it cheaper...adding more of whatever makes it hard and less actual material that makes the line. It's all actually some soft of watercolor paint/graphite combination...which is now heavy on the graphite.

 I'm sure everyone here has bought illegal narcotics, right? Good. there's drug terms for when they add a bunch of baking soda to the crack cocaine so they have more volume to sell . This is what UNI pencil lead company did. They "cut it"...this is "cut"  "stepped on", pencil lead. It is so hard that in order to actually leave a mark on the paper you're digging into the paper with the lead...basically pushing groves into it. It's unusable. It's a guitar pick made out of cardboard, level of unusable.

get a load of this...

40% stronger (harder)...gee thanks. 400 million NanoDia!!! all compounded!!  ...a NanoDia being a word they made up and 400 million being meaningless since it's a made up word. They "cut" it.

NOW, if this was crack cocaine, I could just say "this is a sub pare product, I'll buy my crack from the Latin Kings from now on, thank you very much...and good day."

But this is the only company left that made it. So, I had to get the larger diameter that they haven't "improved", yet. AND, to add insult to injury, it came in THIS...

You see that hole?! How the f*ck am I supposed get that lead out of there? Look how small that is and it ain't even right up against the edge so you could just tilt it on its side so the lead will slide out...you gotta wiggle the thing around in hopes one shakes out.

 Imagine if you will...being stressed out over a deadline...tick tock tick tock mutherf*cker...bleary eyed from staring at a piece of paper for the better part of a day, for several weeks, your hand is sore from drawing intricate details for just as long, your nerves are shot and now you have to play some miniature carnival game to get a new stick of lead out. You know what happens...you angrily shake the f*cking thing all over and the sticks all go flying out across the desk and onto the floor.

That is until there is only one stick of lead left...in which case you shake it repeatedly, IN VAIN like an idiot, loudly swearing at a tiny plastic container. AND it's not like if your laptop crashes and takes a days worth of work with it, and you can get some cathartic release smashing it with a baseball bat. What can you do with this? You curse and throw it with all the rage you can muster and it hits a wall and goes just "pink".

...very unrewarding.

What was wrong with this?! This was fine. open the top, slide out the lead. 

Hell...back when we were a proper country lead came in fancy containers make out of tin or wood. Look...GenZ, look all of us... at what they stole from us...

Normally, I'd avoid such rants, as they lean hard into being an old man bitching about new things, BUT it's a bigger picture issue that I am not alone in noticing. My adjutant Sion, who helps at cons and is Genz, on a recent road trip let out a groan while looking at some new building in Chicago, next to the old cool buildings and said "Is everything just getting sh*ttier?". And I said "YES...YES IT IS! You see to too!"

It started long ago, as these containers stopped being made while I was a sperm hoping the nut I was in didn't get shot off by the Viet Cong.

"hey...what's gong on up there?! You get away from her! I ain't getting born here! Tell her to go away! GO AWAY LADY!!! I am not coming out of here until we are back in the states."

As long as were on the subject, get a load of how pencils used to get packaged. This is fancier than the package my cell phone came in. Gold foil box, raised letters, raised eagle logo.

These are "copying medium" pencils. I have no idea what are for, and neither does the internet. I think everyone who did know died before the internet existed. I got them at an estate sale because they said Mephisto on them, and I thought that was cool.

They write in a weird really dark purple, the lead's very hard...I don't know what they were use for, something specific. I hope it wasn't important, because no one knows anymore. Like, they don't know who to make the buggy they landed on the moon in '69. They don't...go look it up. They don't know how they made the thing anymore, that's not conspiracy. You know the original footage of the first moon landing got recorded over?! That's true too. All of which feeds into the conspiracies of the moon landing being faked.

I don't personally believe thatconspiracy. Looking at that expertly crafted pencil box and looking at chuck of sh*t they ship lead in now is all I gotta see to believe they just lost the schematics and taped over the film because someone didn't give a f*ck.

ANYWAS...back to this contraption...

What earthly reason was there for this nightmare design of the container? Did someone think they were clever? What...is this supposed some attractive packaging that lulls me into buying their brand as opposed to some other brand? THERE IS NO OTHER BRAND. They could gingerly slide each stick of lead into a dog turd and ship it like that and I wouldn't have a choice because no else one makes this anymore.

Speaking of "advancements in technology". I use Square at conventions to process credit cards and recently used their service/template to make the online store. What you can do is have products pre-entered so its easier when your using it to check people out in person, AND have them also show up online OR not show up online.  So I had, I thought, the comic con issue this year hidden from online, but it turns out there was a way with a little extra clicking that you could find it on the online store...and a bunch of you found it. I had set aside like 50 to put them up a Xmas as a first come first served treat, but...screw it, a bunch of you found it and ordered them already so....

The direct link is here if ya want it.

Anyways...how about some comics. What do I have with robots...I like drawing robots, I should have something.

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Didn't I have a whole long story with a robot factory worker and some kid?...no wait, I never did that one. ...I think maybe drawing all sorts of machinery for many pages had me decide it wasn't funny enough to bother. See, this is why A.L. is so good, if I'm going to spend 15hrs drawing something, it better be really funny or I don't bother. I do remember it being funny though. I'll figure out where the quick sketches and look it over again. I've done plenty of stuff in factories. It's not that hard.

 I'll just leave you with these. First a Casper parody I did back when I and a swarm of A.L. fans were trolling the then publishers of Casper. And a Baron Von Donut story featuring Garry, who will have some prominence in the net chapters of the ongoing story in the new book

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