{"id":2564,"date":"2015-02-01T17:33:07","date_gmt":"2015-02-01T23:33:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2564"},"modified":"2015-02-01T17:40:18","modified_gmt":"2015-02-01T23:40:18","slug":"here-is-what-you-want-to-have-happen-in-the-super-bowl-if-you-are-a-jerk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2564","title":{"rendered":"here is what you want to have happen in the super bowl…if you are a jerk."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"430794_10150554881469389_649339388_9051684_1381090869_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Not a footlball fan?\u00a0 tired of hearing about the super bowl?\u00a0 HERE is what you want to have happen…THIS is what you want to have happen…two things<\/p>\n

First, you want the Patriots to win because everyone thinks they cheated to get there.\u00a0 So if they win the whole thing will be forever tainted…for…eve…er.\u00a0 Anyone who is not a Patriots fan…is by and large hoping they lose so the that game retains it’s (cough) credibility.\u00a0 So you want the Pats to win, preferable with a bunch of questionable calls by referees.\u00a0 In fact, if you are stuck watching the game…every time a penalty call goes the Pats way…scratch your chin and mumble “yep…the game is rigged”.\u00a0 I doesn’t matter if you have no earthly idea what is even going on, it will still poison the game for the football fans around you to a subtle degree<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A blowout!\u00a0 You want the game to get away fast.\u00a0 You want the Patriots to take over right from the start and never look back. You want the game to be completely out of hand as fast as possible, so there is no drama , doubt, or question whatsoever who is going to win.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 because people will stop watching, people will get bored, in many cases people will get disguised.\u00a0 And that means….ALLLLLL that money and effort spent on the halftime show and the commercials…would be a waste!\u00a0 Tell me that wouldn’t be hysterical!\u00a0 Some company paying 4 million dollars for thirty seconds because they assume several billion people will be watching, and in fact only a couple million as still viewing by the time their commercial airs.\u00a0 Katey Perry strutting around in whatever ridiculous outfit with all sortsa dancers and crap…all for 1?4 the audience she thought she was going to have….In the words of Nelson Muntz “haww haww”<\/p>\n

\"baby\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That’s what we want people.\u00a0\u00a0 We want the cheaters to win, we want them to destroy the other team so the game isn’t even fun to watch and companies will think twice about investing in the NFL superbowl.<\/p>\n

“but Doug..you are a football fan. Why do you want this?”<\/p>\n

Because…I’m a jerk.\u00a0 And the glee I get in watching things go to hell supersedes my fandom.\u00a0 Plus…I’m a patriots fan anyway.<\/p>\n

GO PATS!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not a footlball fan?\u00a0 tired of hearing about the super bowl?\u00a0 HERE is what you want to have happen…THIS is what you want to have happen…two things First, you want the Patriots to win because everyone thinks they cheated to get there.\u00a0 So if they win the whole thing will\u2026 Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2533,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2564"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2564"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2564\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2533"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}