{"id":2527,"date":"2015-01-21T14:40:19","date_gmt":"2015-01-21T20:40:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2527"},"modified":"2016-06-04T21:17:16","modified_gmt":"2016-06-05T02:17:16","slug":"amazing-life-hack-historical-fact-video-you-gotta-see-cartoon-character-quiz-dating-advice-woooo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2527","title":{"rendered":"amazing life hack, historical fact, video you gotta see, cartoon character, quiz dating advice! woooo!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dougpouting\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Every time I turn on the internet I hate it more.\u00a0 What world is everyone living in where this crap is actually interesting to them?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

“life hacks” useless trivia, dumbass videos, isn’t that why everyone left Myspace in the first place?\u00a0 Okay fine…I can do this<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, here’s some life hacks for you that you can actually use.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1- Worried your apartment smells because you decided to live like a human being for one single day and cook actual food, like a nice piece of salmon maybe…and then just put the dishes in the sink and went to sleep…and now you can’t get the salmon smell out of your apartment?\u00a0 Cosmic punishment for trying to convince yourself being pathetic and single is going to be okay.\u00a0 and now you have people coming over and no matter how hard you clean, the fishy aroma seems to still be faintly in the air?\u00a0 Burn some popcorn!\u00a0 The burnt popcorn smell will overpower everything else!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

2- have some broken crap?\u00a0 turn it into a lamp.\u00a0 It’ll start a fire and you can take the insurance money and move somewhere that doesn’t smell like the ladies locker room of a strip club after someone burned popcorn.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Not into Life hacks? okay..okay…no problem<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Historical facts that will blow your mind!!!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

During WWII Japaneses solders would rape and murder Chinese by the thousands and cut their heads off in front of their village…and now they make Hello Kitty Dolls, and overly cute crap, a signal that they still are not quite right over there and it is only a matter of time before they snap and start slaughtering kids again. \u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"japcrimes\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Isn’t History fun!\u00a0 No? okay, how about some videos!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

You won’t believe how cute this baby is! \ud83d\ude00\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/search.yahoo.com\/search;_ylt=A0LEV0LdC8BUv5gATo5XNyoA;_ylc=X1MDMjc2NjY3OQRfcgMyBGZyA3lmcC10LTEwMi1zBGdwcmlkA2JVU1o3MUZ1UXJxcU9lV2t4MGdSY0EEbl9yc2x0AzAEbl9zdWdnAzMEb3JpZ2luA3NlYXJjaC55YWhvby5jb20EcG9zAzAEcHFzdHIDBHBxc3RybAMEcXN0cmwDMTgEcXVlcnkDbGF1Z2hpbmcgY3V0ZSBiYWJ5BHRfc3RtcAMxNDIxODcyNDQx?p=laughing+cute+baby&fr2=sb-top-search&fr=yfp-t-102-s&fp=1<\/p>\n

\"baby\"<\/a><\/p>\n

What I like to do is do a split screen of the cute baby vids next to the most horrific porn I can find, then it’s like the baby is watching and laughing!\u00a0 Ha ah, Look at that baby giggling at what is no doubt a teenage runaway whose alcoholic Dad used to beat the crap out of her, getting the business\u00a0 end of some swarthy eastern block guys.\u00a0 What?\u00a0 the baby thinks it’s funny.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Okay how about a quiz.\u00a0 Which Disney talking inanimate object are you?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

None of them, they are drawings. You are a person.\u00a0 But if you want to believe you are something else , you would most likely be the A Disney employee working 50 hours a week to scrape by while Disney takes the profits and funnels the money to the communist party.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

That’s not true…the communist part.\u00a0 he wasn’t a communist and stop believe everything as soon as you read it.\u00a0 Although he was pretty tight with J Edgar Hoover.\u00a0 I like to pretend J Edgar Hoover would record himself interrogating Red Spies using a silly cartoon voice and send it to Disney like “hey you should use me in one of your cartoons!\u00a0 You don’t have to pay me, it would just be fun to do it”<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, forget the quiz.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

How about something on Tesla? People on the internet love Tesla!\u00a0 They love hearing about how he figured out how to get free electricity but was murdered by Edison who took his notes and burned them or something.\u00a0 1- IF…IF..this happened don’t you think Edison would have just patented the machine that converts the free energy from the thin air or rainbows or whatever and made a bazillion dollars off it?\u00a0 Unless you can suck the “free energy” out of the air with a straw and blow it into the back of your stereo , you’re going to need to buy something to convert it.\u00a0 Even if it is a simple machine Americans wouldn’t bother to make it themselves, we throw stuff away once the batteries die in this country. Also IF…IF…this were true that would make Tesla the biggest asshole who ever lived for having ONE set of notes and not several thousands hidden everywhere and given to confidants.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Dating advice! Don’t date anyone who was in a video I watch next to a baby video, beyond that it’s a crap shoot.\u00a0 Anyone over thirty who is still single is probably a horrible human being. It’s just the law of averages.\u00a0 Found someone who isn’t a horrible human being? Congratulations.\u00a0 that means YOU are the horrible human being.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

maybe some weight lose tips or exercise advise.\u00a0\u00a0 Do what I do, go the the gym once in awhile and have skinny parents.\u00a0 Don’t have skinny parents?\u00a0 No big deal, it’s not so bad, you could have had the parents that poor girl in the video had.\u00a0 Eat whatever you want, who cares.\u00a0 Being in shape won’t make you live forever, you could get hit by a bus.\u00a0 If you get hit by a bus you have much better odds of surviving if you are fat, you have some cushion.\u00a0 If I get hit by a bus every bone in my body will shatter on impact.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Hmm none of this was particularly mind blowing was it?\u00a0 Well hold on,,,I saved the best for last.\u00a0 THIS is mind blowing ( read\u00a0 and come back here)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.marketingtechblog.com\/facebook-news-feed-ranking-algorithm\/<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/moz.com\/blog\/facebook-algorithm-change<\/a><\/p>\n

Wow!\u00a0 Those people have degrees in marketing and can’t quite agree.\u00a0 Facebook sure puts a lot of work into making sure you don’t get to see anything worthwhile. uhm…I mean making sure your newsfeed is interesting.\u00a0 I mean making sure guys\u00a0 like me have to repost crap 1409 times in order for the 2500 people who friended me because they want to see my stuff actually get to see my stuff.\u00a0 That’s alright, I’m not trying to earn a living or anything.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Once again below are links to other places to find me.\u00a0 But this here blog is ground zero for Arsenic Lullaby and myself.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Arsenic Lullaby\u00a0 weekly blog (random and seething with skewed opinions as well as updates)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

occasionally I do a podcast, they are good but I only do them once in awhile they are here\u00a0 https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/a-strangers-voice\/id436277765?mt=2<\/a>\u00a0 I also put the podcasts up on this here blog for people without Itunes, so just keep coming here weekly and one will show up from time to time.<\/p>\n

Comic Art Fans (where I stick up some of my better work just for the sake of showing off)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

**NEW** \u00a0 Instagram ( where I struggle to keep myself motivated by posting nightly pics of whatever I am working on)<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

**NEW**Twitter ( eh\u2026you might as well follow me there to make sure you aren\u2019t missing any nuggets of wisdom)<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

**NEW**Youtube Channel ( cartoons, and videos of me trying to explain comic book illustration\u2026while complaining about comic book illustration. )<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

**sort of new***ComicRelated ( where I have a regular column complaining and giving brilliant and insightful commentary about the comic book industry)<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

***New*** Tumblr\u00a0 updates and pics (copied from this main blog)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Deviant Art- Another online art gallery<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

AND of course www.arseniclullaby.com<\/a> where you can find all this and more!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every time I turn on the internet I hate it more.\u00a0 What world is everyone living in where this crap is actually interesting to them? “life hacks” useless trivia, dumbass videos, isn’t that why everyone left Myspace in the first place?\u00a0 Okay fine…I can do this Hey, here’s some life\u2026 Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2530,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2527"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2527"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2527\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}