{"id":2366,"date":"2014-12-29T23:32:10","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T05:32:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2366"},"modified":"2014-12-29T23:46:07","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T05:46:07","slug":"this-weeks-insight-fro-mike-bobbitt-the-star-wars-you-never-knew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/?p=2366","title":{"rendered":"This weeks insight from Mike Bobbitt! The Star Wars you never knew"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ladies and gentleman, we are proud to welcome Mike Bobbitt to the A.L. front lines!\u00a0 Mike is a comedian from Detroit who recently moved to L.A. to cross swords, and make his bones as a gen-you-wine Hollywood writer.\u00a0 Mike is a good egg, and he’s going to be on here rattling off his trials and tribulations and spouting off about whatever is on his mind.\u00a0 Have at it Mike!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"mike<\/a><\/p>\n

Phone Call For Mr. Skywalker<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey Arsenic Lullaholics*, I\u2019m Douglas\u2019 comedian buddy Mike.\u00a0 I\u2019m a guy who, to paraphrase the great Danny Glover, got too old for that road comedy shit and moved to Los Angeles to be a writer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone knows: Writing isn\u2019t writing. It\u2019s rewriting<\/em>. I get too married to my first drafts. After 12 years of comedy I\u2019ve developed pretty good instincts towards what\u2019s going to work on stage and what won\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t have those instincts when it comes to writing scripts\u2026yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0I submitted a bunch of scripts to a handful of screenwriting contests and none of them even made it to the semi-finals. I was crushed and started second guessing this leap of faith. Months later I reread those scripts. They\u2019re not good. They\u2019re first drafts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0One of the best resources for writers in Los Angeles is the Writer\u2019s Guild of America Library. There you\u2019ll find scripts to pretty much everything ever made. I spend a lot of time there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Recently I found the first draft of Empire Strikes Back. Being a pretty hardcover Star Wars nerd, I\u2019ve seen older versions of the A New Hope script, but I\u2019ve never seen this one before. I was hoping that reading this first draft would help break me of my attachment to my own first drafts.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Early drafts of Star Wars are throw poop at the wall crazy! I thought for sure the first draft of Empire Strike Back would be better since Kasdan and Brackett had Star Wars to draw from. Wrong!<\/span><\/p>\n

It starts off pretty much the same only the Wampa pops up from the snow below Luke\u2026which kind of makes more sense when you think about it. If Luke is scouting, how did he not notice a giant snow creature? When we get to the rebel base, that\u2019s when things get weird. You know how Han and Leia have that playful banter in the halls? Remember how she\u2019d rather kiss a Wookiee than admit to wanting to kiss Han Solo? Well, this version is a lot less playful and a lot more rapey. Han corners her and tries to force himself on her and she has to remind him that her soldiers are within an earshot and will help her if she screams. He tells her he knows what she wants and she says that the only thing she wants is Ovan Marekal. Who?!? Ovan is Han\u2019s mercenary step-dad. Leia wants him to help the Rebel Alliance, but Han\u2019s dad is currently helping the Empire because he goes where the money is.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Remember all those Rebel higher ups that it was so important to get Princess Leia too at the end of the last movie? You know, General Dodonna, the guy who came up with the plan to blow up the Deathstar? He\u2019s still around in this script too. I looked up to see if maybe the actor died and that was why he wasn\u2019t in the movie. Nope, he stuck around until 1990. Uh-oh, I think I\u2019m starting to feel like parts of the first draft were better than the move we all saw. Let\u2019s get back to the garbage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Ben shows up and tells Luke to go see a guy named Minch, who can train him to be a Jedi. It\u2019s pretty much all the Dagobah stuff, only Yoda is named Minch in this version. Ben pops up during the training and Luke asks Minch how he does that. Minch basically makes a phone call using the Force. \u201cMinch calling Obi-Wan, come in Obi-Wan.\u201d Ben shows up and is all like, \u201cOh hey guys, how\u2019s the training going? Luke, glad you called, there\u2019s someone here who wants to talk to you. It\u2019s your dad!\u201d Then a character simply Skywalker pops on the line and says, \u201cHey son, super proud of you, good luck fighting Darth Vader and all that.\u201d It was like a Jedi Party Line! Oh yeah, and I almost forgot. Ben also says something along the lines of, \u201cHey Luke, did your Uncle Owen ever mention you having a sister? No? Okay, pretend I didn\u2019t even bring it up.\u201d Oh yeah, and Ben, Minch and Skywalker all make Luke recite the Jedi Oath which is a lot like the Boy Scout Oath.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0The Emperor wears a \u201ccloth of gold\u201d, but I can\u2019t critique his fashion sense because I\u2019m currently wearing a shirt advertising Sriracha Hot Sauce.\u00a0\u00a0 But on the subject of the bad guys, Vader is actually trying to get Luke to be his new master. You read that right. Vader serve Luke instead of the Emperor. When they fight, he also says something along the lines of, \u201cHey kid, I\u2019m like 20 years older than you, you don\u2019t have a chance against me. I\u2019ll kick your ass, just like I kicked your dad\u2019s ass.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0There\u2019s a running joke too where Leia is using an alias on Bespin, which is simply called the Orbital City. Her name goes from Ethonia, Ardith, Erith and Eredith. No one can keep track of it. Hilarious? Lando is renamed Lando Kadar and is described as \u201cRudolph Valentino handsome and ageless\u201d. Billy Dee Williams is certainly handsome and ageless. \u00a0The motivation he has for betraying his old friend is that he recognized Leia as soon as they landed and was mad that Han was trying to con him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0So a lot of the ideas are there from the start. They\u2019re all on a snow planet. Luke goes to train to be a Jedi. Everyone else hangs out with Lando and has dinner with Vader. Vader wants to team up with Luke, but Luke isn\u2019t into it. Lucas handwrote notes on the version I read. One of them was next to a line Vader had about Luke. He says something to the effect of, \u201cMaybe I should thank you for shooting my ship since I ended up far away from the Deathstar when it blew up.\u201d Lucas wrote, \u201cCut this line. Han shot Vader.\u201d Han didn\u2019t shoot Vader. He shot the TIE fighter next to him\u2026first\u2026and in the back. Let\u2019s keep that between us. I\u2019m not sure if Lucas is still allowed to tinker, but we\u2019d hate for him to go back and figure out a way to \u201cfix\u201d that to his \u201coriginal\u201d vision. Although, damn it, I\u2019m on board for a box of Star Wars vibrators!<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0I haven\u2019t gotten around to taking the first drafts of a Bob\u2019s Burger\u2019s and a Maron spec script off my website (www.offthemike.com<\/a>). Next time around I\u2019ll explain spec scripts and tell you why mine aren\u2019t good yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

* Someone should come up with a catchy name for us Arsenic Lullaby fans. Gwar called their fans \u201cBohabs\u201d, maybe we\u2019re Voodoo Johabs?<\/span><\/p>\n

————————————————<\/p>\n

I think Arsenic Lullalaholics is a winner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keep track of Mike on twitter<\/a> or at his own site www.offthemike.com<\/a> he will be preforming LIVE back in Detroit Jan 10th!!\u00a0 so track him down!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ladies and gentleman, we are proud to welcome Mike Bobbitt to the A.L. front lines!\u00a0 Mike is a comedian from Detroit who recently moved to L.A. to cross swords, and make his bones as a gen-you-wine Hollywood writer.\u00a0 Mike is a good egg, and he’s going to be on here\u2026 Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2431,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2366"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2366"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2366\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2431"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/arseniclullabies.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}