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A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER
you don't have the swine flu...
hey remember a few years ago when they said that we where all going to die from sars? and then we where all going to died from the bird flu? and now we are all going to die from the swine flu...we aren't going to die from some global disease because this isn't a movie. IN MOVIES these things could spread like wildfire because there is so much global travel and global trade and all it takes is one affected guy to go to new York city and next thing you know...we're all dead...IN MOVIES that could happen...this is real life and there are a million variables in that keep things like this from happening, first and formost being the amazing human immune system and the wide differences between individual immune systems, that and how climates affect airborne diseases, the vast differences in the cleanliness of first world countries compared to third world countries, the general health differences between first and third world countries and on and on and on . see when you live in a shithole and are half starving and your who town craps in the river you drink out of it doesn't take much of a disease to wipe you out...but when that same disease comes to say...the U.S. that has more hospitals per capita than any where else, people eat 24 hours a day have cold medicine on the shelves and healthy and have immune systems that aren't over taxed by repeated infections...that same disease doesn't get very far. think of the swine flu as a minor league pitcher. he looks pretty good, stickes out alot of other minor leaguers but when he gets called up to the majors (the U.S.) he doesn't last two innings. Never mind the fact that different races of humans are more suceptable so some diseases that other races of humans. which is why we never have been wiped out by a disease, and we never will
did you hear me? THE HUMAN RACE WILL NEVER BE WIPED OUT BY A DISEASE THIS ISN'T A FUCKIN MOVIE IT'S MATHEMATICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
aside from that their are 300 million people in this country and a disease that has affected 100 of them is not even worth mentioning. go to an emergency room and ask the nurse the number of people who have contracted the swine flu...then ask her how many people have come to the emergency room because they got something stuck in their rectum during some unnatural act...the ratio will be incalculable and yet CNN will not be warning us to stay away from sex toys. I had a freind who worked an emergency room and just about every night they had to fish something out of some persons anus. look people, when it comes to the point of inserting random household items in your keester, you need to take a step back and realize that maybe something is missing from your sex life...and i don't mean the pepper grinder i mean maybe a meaningful connection with the person your sleeping with, go find that and you'll be amazed at how soon you forget about sticking intimate objects up your ass. call me old fashioned by none of the stories i heard about the people with lord knows what trapped inside their bodies ended with " yeah his wife of 20 years came and picked him up and they had a good laugh and went back to their happy home"...no it was usually "THEN he/she was back the NEXT WEEK with a new person and a (deleted) jammed into (deleted)
back to swine flu, we will be the last country truly harmed by a disease like this for one simple reason...we don't like each other. we don't kiss each other on the cheek, we don't car pool or use mass transit if we can help it, we sit far away from each other at restaurants and stand far away from each other in elevators...our very anti social nature is a buffer too great for any disease to overcome in any profound way.
I'd also like to point out that a few months ago some government agency (the CDC i think) wanted to monitor our web searches in order to head off epidemics...their thinking was that if all sorts of people in Iowa started googling "yellow fever" that they would know something was up. aside form being fundamentally against the government having ANY MORE POWER FOR ANY REASON THEY MAKE UP AT ALL, i thought this was a stupid idea and this week is the reason why- how many people do you think googled "swine flu" this week? hmmm? 300 million many? so if you are the CDC what good is knowing this doing you? how are you going to pinpoint which areas are hypocondricates, which areas are affected, and which areas just saw it on the news first? you can't. it's a stupid idea and KEEP THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB. DON'T LET THEM ON HERE FOR ANY REASON EVER EVER EVER. because whatever reason they tell you is going to be a lie or a stupid idea or both...because that ALL THE GOVERNMENT HAS-LIES AND STUPID IDEAS.