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more on survivor dousche

 

now...there are "red flags" that will pop up to let you know when someone is a dousche bag.  things that when we see someone do them...well we don't need to know anymore about them, we know they are a dousche-bag. if you catch the red flags you can sit back and observe how the entire rest of that person actions back up your original assessment.

 A white guy pulling out a harmonica out of the blue and "playing" the harmonica is one of those things.  by "playing" i mean, not actually playing a song but just making noise into it and passing it of as "improve" or "jamming" or whatever you musicians call it when you are using an instrument but not playing a specific song. when you do this with some instruments it is impressive- a guitar, a saxophone, a violin...because these instruments are difficult to use and it takes skill to make it sound good.  a harmonica, and i would even say drums, are not.  any monkey can come up and blow into a harmonica without following a song and it's never going to make an awful noise like if your finger slips on the valve of a sax.  so blowing away into a harmonica does not make you a musician it makes you a dousche bag... you are saying to the world "hey...look over here...i'm cool, are you looking? LOOK...i'm a beatnik, i'm hip, i'm not just some lame whiteguy...who is starving to death in the middle of nowhere because he has confused having a half assed conservationist attitude for actual survival skills and is so stupid that he took a harmonica instead of a compass or some flint."  yes i am speaking again of the douche from "survivor man" 

he does this almost once an episode. seeing this i realized that this guy is living in his own little world, not just actually but figuratively.  he does not see himself for what he is.  someone explain to this guy that is is just some jerk who gets paid to starve in front of a camera.  he isn't interesting AT ALL.  his narration isn't interesting, his comments aren't interesting, he has no skills or talent.  he is a jerk who had an idea...no wait...plenty of other people did this already for national geographic and boys life...he took an already existing idea and improved it. i'll give him that. but that's IT.  he is one small step above anyone from the real world...EXCEPT for the miz who is a WWE wrestler now and far more entertaing and skilled at what he does than survivor douche.

 

the last episode of survivorman was on last night he was in some jungle somewhere got dysentery, got trenchfoot AGAIN...was STILL unable to catch a fish or trap a wild animal...and cut his 7 day adventure short to attend a ceremony some  "secluded tribe" was throwing in honor of an "outsider" living in thier jungle...he went on and on about how cut off from civilization and unknown this tribe was.  despite the fact that earlier in the show when he was being lead into the jungle by the tribe...they where wearing button up shirts and pants.  AND they all had manufactured machetes.  okay whatever...they have their little dance all donning bones through their noses and what not...and HE gets into the swing of things.  he hops around the fire with the other "savages".  i am torn on whether or not to call them savages.

on one hand if you live in the jungle NOW in 2008 and don't use any modern technology and kill other tribes with spears over jungle potatos that i think that "savage" is a apt description...but since before the ceremony they where all wearing NORMAL MANUFACTURED CLOTHES...than you are not a savage you just kept a few traditions.

  i'm also a little unclear as to how he found these people or communicated/explained to them what he was doing in their jungle if they have been cut off from civilization.  

whatever the part that made me crazy was his last little monologue of self aggrandizing douche baggery where he says this is the last episode of survivor man and his next project will be even more extreme and push the line even further...and as we hear his little music and the credits start to roll he narrates "there are those who experience things from their armchair and that's fine...but then there are those who go out and have life changing experiences and are never the same again" (as he says this we are watching him dance around with the savages...he is obviously referring to himself here "look at me!!! i'm in touch with mother earth and i'm accepted by this strange magical tribe...i'm having a life changing experience...shouldn't you wait like at least a month to determine if something was life changing?  seriously...let's all list the things taht happened to us in our live that we thought at the time was going to be life changing that whe hadden't given any thought to since...no don't thier isn't enough room on the internet.  "life changing" i thought you where an explores dude...i thought this sort of thing happened to you all the time.  you spend some time with a different culture...BFD.)  "when you add that sense of adventure , and special skills needed to survivor, with a powerful creativity...well...that's where i live"

wow...you're cool. 

i wanna grab this guy and make him watch his show with me. "look here is where for the second time you passed up plants you COULD have eaten. LOOK you just passed up a birds nest, OH here is where you caught "trenchfoot" for the second time THIS season because you where to stupid to take off your boots....here is 5 minutes of silence where you could be explaining what they hell you are trying to accomplish...now notice that even though all your cameras have tri-pods 75% of the time the camera is between you legs to that the viewer feels like his/her HEAD is in your crotch...here is a long winded narration where you attempt to sound thoughtful and poetic but just come across as kind of dumb" 

"powerful creativity" ...GOOD LORD. sometimes i think i'm too full of myself, and i've got people on four continents that by my book...this guy gets dropped off somewhere and starves and then gets picked up.  and thinks he's an explorer/poet.