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It's really the worst time to meet me.i

i have returned from the new york comicon with a few complaints, no big surprise there...but this will be me bitching about myself.

Everyone can act like an ass from time to time even me, which is one of the reasons i shy away from hanging out after conventions with fans and letting all you good people buy me dinner or buy me a drink and what not.  it's for both our sakes. See a comic book convention is the perfect storm of coming across like a jackass.

First off i usually fly in or drive on no sleep and stressed out about how much i have to move in order to make it worth my while and whether or not all my books/luggage/display is going to arrive unharmed and on time. from that i go right into talking to, at our last estimate, 300 people a day at any given show (double that at big ones). If i have help that number is closer to 400-500 because I'm shoving the book in peoples faces and every time whoever is helping me converts someone i say "thanks" and sketch something in that persons book WHILE I,m talking to someone else.  and because my book is pretty damn good i have about 200-300 people a day tell me I'm great.  so the equation is something like this

stress minus lack of sleep times the number of strangers talked to divided by positive re-enforcement of my despicable character flaws that have been translated into jokes = me having a swelled head and being tough to deal with...or just really really tired.

I know what it sounds like for me to say that getting a bunch of complements for three days in a row is anything but great, but trust me, it is very disorienting.  it's tough to adjust your people skills from that to normal especially after three straight days of hundreds of three minute conversations. since it does no good for me to hang out knowing full well i am going to be ahead of my skis i usually decline and hope people aren't offended.

the other problem is people want to meet you because they think you must be interesting...but since a lot of you read the blogs here i have nothing interesting to say that you haven't already heard.  which usually leaves me dryly puking out whatever dreadful things i did that i never put in the blogs and mostly sounding like a self aggrandizing self serving nob.  

this New York con had yet another straw on the back of the camel. the dousche that thinks we were rivals but now thinks we are friends was again in close proximity.  long story short -some douche writes a comic book that is supposed to be dark's not that funny to me but hey, whatever...he asks me to swap ad space i say "nah" he gets offended and apparently spends 8 years bitching about me and stoking the fires of some rivalry that only exists in his head.  and absurdly touting his book as being equal to mine.  So Dousch is at this show.  ever have one of those people who just bring out the worst in you?  that whenever you are around them you act like a complete asshole?  and i mean like you know you are being an asshole and can't stop even think to yourself while you are being an asshole "wow ..i'm really acting like an asshole"...maybe you dated someone who brought that out, or had a boss, or your siblings bring out your flaws? this guy is one of those for me.  and not because i'm mean to him...that part i'm okay with. the part that embarrasses me is i fell obligated to point out things about myself and say self serving shit as a way of illustrating the grand canyon like divide that is the difference between me and him. 

the thing is...and i will now go on another self aggrandizing titrate WHILE bitching about how i hate when i do that...but that's how some peoples vibe can set you off.  the dousch has a book that he touts as the premier dark humor book or some such nonsense.  and for me this is like...i'm tu pac or fifty cent (those are gangster rappers) and he is will smith and he's saying he's a bad ass gangster.  I can't help's so absurd that i find myself listing me "street credits" as though anyone gives a shit.  but...look...if you where me wouldn't you feel obligated to point out that the guys is a namby pamby soft ass sheltered sissy, and that you (i) had done some semi dangerous somewhat illegal stuff and have had a life that's just as strange as the book you write? maybe not, like i say we all have our own little things and time where we look like a dope.  and from now on I'll just ignore the whole thing.  but honestly...wouldn't it drive you nuts?  i have to keep hearing him compare himself to me...and the only recourse is to ignore him.  It's very frustrating...and ven though i move more comics in one weekend than he does all year...i still feel the point hasn't been driven home enough.  but in the words of my friend " can't convince a bulimic that she's not fat and you can't convince this guy that he's an's the same lack of introspection" i didn't know what introspection meant so i just replied "heh yeah, he's fat too"

anywhoo New York was alot of fun, BIG thanks to Josh for helping me out and letting me crash at his house.  Josh has a two year old boy.  i mention that because i stayed at his house friday and was so tired i just sort of took the first part of my shower half awake.  as i started to wake up and take in my surroundings a little, i realized i was in a shower surrounded by a rubber duck and a whole bunch of bath tub toys.  i don't think i ever felt more out of place.  and i started to get a cold twighlight zone chill like i was going to walk out and realize i was home invader and i murdered a family of five, or i would look in the mirror and go "that's not my face!" and i'd have a wife and child and normal job.  thankfully I got out and had my own face and Josh and Jenny where waiting to help me print something out.

And of course big thanks to the angry drunk graphics crew for driving me all over hell, feeding me and giving me booze and then listening to me bable on about what a badass i think i am.  a side note to them...i was only in jail for ten days, so it ain't really that impressive...BUT I BET DOUSCH WAS NEVER IN JAIL.  there i go again.

OH, and go to their website and pick up some stuff from Sergio and Skullboy and Mike Stoneroad.  If you are tired of the old crap and want to get something new and weird those three can fill your mailbox with plenty of worthwhile underground type stuff.

later this week i'll tell you what i think about new york and tell you a story about almost being killed by a refrigerator.  which has nothing to do with new york other than i forgot all about it until this weekend



comments? concerns?