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  No more facebook

At some point during my birthday I either aged ten years or became ten years younger…I can’t decide which. All I know is during the course of the day I became reacquainted with an old friend called “lack of patience for superficial bullshit”. 

Superficial bullshit can apply to friendships, relationships, t.v. shows, music, what have you.  you know what superficial is right?  Like it’s shallow in content and or merit.  That’s not Webster’s definition but you get the idea.


I’ll give you some examples …Chinese food from the mall=superficial food.  Clay akien = superficial music, sitcoms from any of the big three networks = superficial.  These things are all well and good if you want a boring pointless existence that when you get to the pearly gates St.Peter says “look, I know you didn’t kill anyone or cheat on your wife but…you could have been eating great Chinese food from that weird hole in the wall restaurant, listening to black flag, and watching deadwood…I’m gonna have to pull the big lever on you just for missing out on so much.” 


Now I’m not an elitist and I know there is only so much time in the work week to seek out new things.  I’m just trying to get across what I mean by superficial.   And since I’m not ready to bitch about specific superficial crap/assholes…I will turn my ire on facebook


I’m done with facebook…I gave it a good honest try and I think it’s stupid.  It’s superficial.  It’s lying to yourself about what you are doing.   Facebook is clay akien and myspace is black flag.  I’m going to sound over the top here but I mean what I am about to say.  If art imitates life…if the point of art is to capture some element of life...then myspace is as beautiful as any Picasso, da vinci, or micheal angelo.  I’m 100% serious.  Each page is a glimpse into that persons life.  There are videos, songs, goofey images, the arrangement of the “top friends” gives you a glimpse into what they want you to know about them, the comments page, the pics they put up, the blogs and posts, are all a glorious kalidascope of that individuals train wreck of an existence.  On face book everyones page is the same, you can’t add music to it, you can’t change the background, you can’t post a blog…that's right! no blogs! The main method of expressing yourself is typing a ten word thought on your “wall” that other people will then respond to with ten words of their own.  The venue simply does not allow for anything interesting to go on.  It is the rotary engine of social websites…a great idea until you try to customize it. 


There is no real exchange of ideas, emotion, or mood, it’s as dry as missionary sex with you’re your wife of ten years when your both sober.  HO HUM.  And like I say I tried to make it interesting. it’s one advantage is that the “wall posts” lend themselves to updating an event as it goes along more so that myspaces “posts” or “blogs”.  But there is no way of knowing how many people are reading it and if you have 7 different posts about what’s going on you will more than likely just be confusing people who don’t realize they need to scroll down to ten am when you started it. 


Which brings us to myspaces real advantages and what we’re really there for.  We are there to spy on each other, act like a bunch of juveniles, and search for companions while being pissed at the world for how miserable we are AND/OR to let everyone know we are cooler and hipper then the next person.  That’s what social networks are for PERIOD.  They are not online diaries…”had a great day with the family!” that’s something you put in the diary, not on a social network wasting an obscene amount of technology.  Actually, now that I think about it, if “had a great day with the family” is all you have to write down you don’t even need to put it in a diary.  What if anne franks diary went like that “hid from the Nazis today L.  Boring right?…give us something to read or don’t bother.


Myspace Cleary shows the last time the person logged on so if you want to contact that person but they haven’t logged on in three months…you know to try some other route.


Myspace shows “read” or “unread” on the mail you sent.  So if you sent a letter to your ex boyfriend telling him you are pregnant and you see him getting on an airplane…well you can simply go to your “sent” mail and see if he read the letter and will not be returning or if it is “unread” and he’s probably just going out of town for the holidays.


Myspace tells you how many people are going to your page and how many people read your blog…which for someone in my position is very helpful.  AND it’s helpful for the other 98% of myspace that thinks they are going to be famous artists, musicians, actors, ect.  (but Doug those people drive you nuts!)  yes...they do drive me crazy, using basically a science fiction amount of technology that is the world wide web to push their petty ridiculous dreams…BUT not as much as people using that same amount of technology to post pictures of their kids playing soccer.  at least those other people realize the possibilities of the world wide web.


Facebook is merely a glorified office e-mail. My friend posted a pic of his kid the other day…now if facebook didn’t exist…I would have gotten that pic anyway because he has my regular e-mail.  So facebook serves no real purpose there.


Myspace is easier to use to find someone.  If I have a friend named Joe Smith…and I type in Joe Smith on either page I’ll likely get 2000000 Joe Smiths.  But on myspace I can type Joe Smith Milwaukee Johnny Cash (cause I know he’s a big Johnny cash fan and probably mentioned it in his page) and the search will narrow significantly. the vast majority of facebook pages are set to private (it’s default setting is private) so on facebook I would have to send an e-mail to all 200000 joe smiths asking them if they are the right Joe Smith…where as on myspace I would just click on a page and when my computer froze up because he has 16 johnny cash videos posted at once I know I have the right guy.  In the time it takes to reboot my computer I will still have contacted him sooner than if I was still typing out e-mails to random joe smiths on facebook.


And the people on facebook seem to be oblivious to the fact that social websites are for lonely bitter people.   You putting up wall posts saying “my husband is awesome! Bought me flowers today!”  or “cuddleing with hubby…ya!” is really narcissistic and out of place.  Would you send an actual e-mail to all of your friends that said that?  Of course not because you seem a-insane b- like you are trying to cover up the fact that your about to get a divorce or c-like an asshole.  So…why post it on your facebook page?  I boils down to - why are you here.  These sites are outlets for self expression and if the best you can come up with is “joe blow is tired at work”  how about you save yourself the trouble and just tell your wife when you get home…you know the one you love so much?


trust me this isn't about me being bitter cause i'm divorced this is about me being annoyed that people are using technology that allows them to communicate any idea, image, story with anyone in the world anytime they want to and instead posting "bob is tired".  so am i bob...but i just took a nap instead of thinking that my sleepiness is so interesting that the whole WWW or at least all of my friends would like to know.  SOMETHING interesting must have happened today bob...type that out.  i'm not saying you're bad people for being tired or cuddling with hubby...i'm saying no one else cares and typing that into the internet is a little bizarre...isn't it? 


maybe it's just me,  maybe this just isn't my game and i should take my ball and go home. So…bottom line, I won’t be on facebook anymore other than to post links and I’ll be back on myspace more and I’m going to finally figure out how to allow people to comment on my blogs on the arsenic lullaby website.


By the way…if you didn’t hear we have been putting podcasts up on the website.  Haven’t really plugged them much because we’re just sort of getting the hang of it.  But the recent ones are decent enough now that I think anyone who reads the blog will get some laughs out of them.

also we have stuff up on ebay right now, clothes, artwork (voodoo joe eating a mermaid) 

and don't forget the happy drunk x-mas party in new jersey dec (i'll get you a link for buying tickets in a day or two.)




comments? concerns?



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