Wednesday, June 27, 2007


wwe chris benoit murders family

details are still sketchy but wwe superstar chris benoit "the rabid wolverine" and his wife and 7 year old son were found dead monday.  the following details have trickled out...he and his wife had been arguing about the care of their seven year old son who has some degree of mental retardation.  benoit apparently smothered or strangled his wife friday night, killed his son with some sort of choke hold saturday morning put a bible next to the bodies then hung himself late saturday early sunday morning.

this is just very sad and i have struggled all week to find something funny about it.  i must be getting old because it only dawned on me today that EVERYTHING  about this is funny.  first off any woman who would want a pro wrestler to be MORE involved with the care of a retarded kid may be better off dead.  this is like having frankenstien pet a kitten. second obviosly the guy snapped, perhaps it was "roid rage" perhaps it was stress who knows, all you have to do is picture a very muscular anrgy man at the very pinacle of snapping watching his boy trying to put a square peg into a round hole and then....(in your best incredable hulk voice)" raaaaa BENOIT NO LIKE AGRUING OVER CARE OF RETARDED SON!!!  RETARDED SON MAKE BENOIT SAD!!  WIFE MAKE BENOIT ANGRY, NO LIKE GUILT TRIP!  BENOIT SMASH DOUBLE CHROMOSOMES! BENOIT SMASH WIFE !!RAAAAA BENOIT MAKE WIFE'S MOUTH NOISES STOP RAAAAA!

if you have never seen beniot, he has a giant head, giant torso and little alligator arms and legs, in my opinion THIS explains the length of time between the deaths of his wife and kid and his own suicide.  see not only was the process of making A hangman's knot taxing for the roided up wrestler but a complicated plan of attack was needed for benoit to  reach something HIGH to attach the noose to. i picture him stacking up chairs and using a broom or a rake to raise the noose over his head (again tiny arms).  so in the end the world is now minus one pro wrestler, a very very dumb woman (benoit was not excataly a sublte man...i'm sure even all the animals in the neighborhood sensed the danger while she plodded into benoit about the kid for what i'm sure was the 4000th time.) and a retarded kid who was killed with a choke hold.  oh did i forget to mention that? yes benoit USED A WRESTLING MOVE TO KILL A RETARDED SEVEN YEAR OLD. perhaps it was some samuri code esq thing where he killed his boy with his most cherished weapon i dunno either way some day when i die where ever i go i hope they have footage of this choke hold. i must know if he did is quickly out of instint as though he must shoot in on the seven year old to avoid a counter move (this possibly being a crayon in the eye?) or did he do it slowly weeping while he slide his arm around the boys head like the end of old yeller? ...truly sad though truly sad.