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The may be no way for you to win THIS cover to an upcoming hardcover book BUT...


You COULD win something like this...


(these are the final updated questions and rules)



Okay…the time has come once again where I don’t feel like writing a blog and instead run a contest. the grand prize being some very valuable piece of artwork (the cover to Pulp edition one and zero have been won in the past!!!) my thinking is that this is an easy way to burn up a blog and it costs me nothing since the questions are too hard for anyone to possibly win.  The flaw in this idea, at least in the past…is that people keep winning.  Which angers me to no end…some of you people really pay attention to the blogs and issues I’ve written, who would have thought. 

So THIS time…it’s really impossible.  But just in case it’s not, the grand prize will be the artwork for the cover of an upcoming hardcover collection of arsenic lullaby.  (we’ll post the picture Friday)  AND…this time…since no one can actually win…three runners up…the top point getters…will get a cover recreation of their choice done by me.  (click here for examples)…so even though no one can win this…ANYBODY could walk off with some artwork who manages to get a few correct. I would say if you can get ten answers correct you'll be in fair shape to walk off with something...of course in the past people have over achieved so don't stop if you get ten!

 230 points are needed to qualify for the grand prize there will be three cover recreations awarded to the top three point getters below 230 points

 each contestant may ask for three hints OR submit their answers to be graded once before turning in their final answers.  The judges decisions are FINAL no lawyer speak technicalities or crying.  Our editor in chief Joe will be the final judge.  

for that sake of this contest  content that appears in an arsenic lullaby TPB counts as arsenic lullaby even if it originally was published somewhere else

  questions that are in blue are worth 20 points A BONUS task is in purple and worth up tO SIXTY POINTS!

questions that are red are worth ten points questions that are green are worth five points.  questions in blue are worth 20 points.

questions have been sectioned off by there relation to each other i.e. arsenic lullaby comic book questions, quotes ect...


Section one...In the world of arsenic lullaby ...

what key factor must one have to be the prey of raccoons? 

How many different times has pedophillin dan appeared? 

 name all the periodicals he appeared in. 

What was the first named character to cross over from arsenic lullaby into Mad Magazine? 

Who was the first person to notice that voodoo joe doesn’t have a body? 

What are Voodoo Joes hot dogs made out of? 

How did the 105th airborne meet it’s untimely end? 

Douglas kept ONE page form Arsenic lullaby Omega for himself...which page was it? 

Douglas kept One page from Arsenic Lullaby pulp edition zero for himself which one was it? 

Douglas kept One page from the first issue of Arsenic Lullaby for himself which one was it? 

Douglas has kept for himself three pages in a row from one of his comic books…what are these three pages? 

What is the first appearance of Edgar breyers? 

What is the name of the first character Douglas ever self published? 

Hidden somewhere in my myspace friends, facebook friends or facebook fan pages is my ex-wife…send her a mean letter and send us a copy. In the event of a tie the meanest letter not involving vulgar language wins.  An Incorrect answer to this question is minus 10 points 

What state (out of out fifty states) is the page from Arsenic Lullaby were Voodoo Joe is eating a mermaid currently in?


Section two...random quotes

What are these quotes from (these MAY be paraphrased…so much for you just typing it into google wise guys) 

“I was born to disinfect all the sheep the flies and ants” 

“I told them I’d shoot but ya didn’t believe me!  Why didn’t ya believe me?” 

“that painful decaying love is the only thing that stands between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day” 

“everyone is a fucking napoleon” 

“we have ways and methods only madmen dream” 

“I have to believe that or I’d lose my mind…lose my mind, that’s a good one.”  

 section three ...what are these quotes from...

love is like crack that laughs at you. 

I hate you cake! 

Revenge only helps the next guy 

The coroner should have the time of death figured out in no time. 

There’s always Easter


Section four  random Arsenic Lullaby...

What is hidden in Ben’s neighbor’s freezer? 

Years ago a flash animation appeared on an arsenic lullaby website…it was taken directly from an issue of arsenic lullaby.  What was it? 

What is the first comic book convention that we attended while publishing arsenic lullaby. 

What was baron von donuts first appearance? 

What/who was the first character named JOE that Douglas published. 

What was Douglas’s first SOLO cover. 

How many times have we SEEN baron von donut die…(i.e. SEEN the dead body of baron von donut) 

Which of these quotes is NOT from Arsenic Lullaby

1-if retarded people knew what they were missing out on they’d all be angry drunks

2-stay in school kid

3-go into the bathroom after breakfast and cut your penis off

4-that’s rich they’re fighting over who’s in charge of a planet of morons

5-a tire iron beats four aces


Which of these quotes is NOT from Arsenic Lullaby

1-if you drink vampire blood you turn into a werewolf

2-the quality I look for most in a woman is purely mental.  The ability to keep convincing herself I’m not the pick I truly am

3-voodoo is like a late 80’s jaguar

4-genral lee was actually the angel Gabriel

5-falling in love is the worst thing that can happen to two people….so it’ll supercede anything else.


Section Five  what is the connection ?

tiny easter, powell, diamond, fred flinstone

what is thier connection?

Venice, Sewer, Welles, Lime

What is the connection? 

Section six...what have you learned? /secrets and techniques 

much though was put into leading the eye through the page when doing the layout of this one page story...analyze and explain (worth up to TWENTY points so be thorough. HINTone point for each element that was used ) 


Bonus research round!

Send me the rear taillight lenses for a 78 elcamino.   

in 1990 the Steve and Garry radio program on wlup am 1000 did a radio play of it's a wondeful life...send me that recording (20 points for each half hour of the broadcast)




comments? concerns?



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