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it's the circle of life grasshopper or...fuck Haiti.

Now...before all you jerk off crybabies who've been spaming people prayers for Haiti (in case you didn't know, an earthquake came and leveled it this week)or posting "our prayers go out to haiti" or sending each other MADE UP inspiring little stories about how some mud soaked three year old was saved by the red cross in Haiti, start jumping on my case let me say this "you are a bunch of assholes"...straight up...ass to the hole.  

it's the shallowness of it, the insincerity, the vapidness of you pretending, perhaps even pretending to yourself...that you give a fuck...that's driving me crazy right now.  i'll get back to YOU and your shallowness in a moment.  first let me give you my stand.

i don't give a fuck about Haiti, i didn't give a fuck last week and i won't give a fuck next week.  

think that makes me a bad guy? makes me an honest guy...YOU are the bad guy.  because you didn't give a fuck last week, won't give a fuck next week and truth be told don't give a fuck this week either but you are going on and on like you do.  If you really gave a fuck, you really cared about the people of should be having trouble sleeping,  you should be finding a way to volunteer, you should be sending money, calling your congressman...that sort of thing....have you? posted a comment or sent an e-mail with all the zest and gravitas that you sent a picture of your dog in a sweater last month. only question is this...are you so shallow that you can't see how shallow you are?  or are you so shallow that this is as much activity and emotion as you can muster about things you "care" about? in the words of a bystander in Casablanca after peter Lorne get's nabbed "when they come for me rick i hope you'll be more of a help".  by that i mean...some of you people out there claim to care about me...if i was crushed in an earthquake i hope i would rate more than a spammed prayer.  

"i DO CARE!  i was genuinely sad when i saw this happen!" you feeling sad does not equal caring...see, you can watch a sad movie and feel sad...are you ready to admit to yourself that you care about Haiti as much as you cared about Jennifer Aniston in "the breakup"?

lemme ask you this, how many of you assholes who watched CNN and decided the humane thing to do was pretend you give a shit could find Haiti on a map if i held a gun to your head?  i'd guess 95% of you couldn't.

I can find it on a map AND...i know a thing or two about haiti and let me console all you folks who don't care but feel guilty that they don''s a crap hole. a crap hole not just in the sense that it's a third world country that refuses to truly embrace democracy/capitalism and refuses to get it's head out of it's ass and move into the 21st century for it's own sake and the sake of it's citizens safety, but also a crap hole in the sense that it is full of cut throats, pirates, drug dealers, pimpers of children, kidnappers, smugglers, killers of all's a den of shitheads. so if haiti was completely wiped off the map i think that anyway you do the math, even though i'm sure some decent people would be lost, the world as a whole would probably be better off.  you could say this about Tijuana, the majority of the middle east, most of mid/lower Africa, and for that matter Hollywood.  there are places on this planet that we would be better off being without OR having something drastic happen to turn it around.  too much truth for you?  then go write a prayer for me and spam it to your friends shallow jerk offs AND BY THE someone who takes religion seriously i find it vulgar that you would a- post a prayer or b-spam a prayer.  you make me sick.  your religion if it means anything to you should be a bit more sacred than your facebook account.  that is...unless you truly are as shallow as you are acting.

"don't you have any compassion? these are people blah blah blah cry cry cry wha wha wha".  to this i say two things first -Don't YOUUUU have any compassion?  these people where starving and needed help, food, blood, prayers last week...where the fuck where you?  someone needs a building to fall on them before you give a shit? you shallow pretentious fuck.  and two- yes, i have alot of compassion, i do alot of stuff for charity, volunteer for lots of things and i do it all year and i don't go and post it on the internet and pound my chest.  and...i have compassion for alot of people who are in arms reach, all that tends to keep me pretty busy...and keeps me from spamming prayers and putting on a mask of "giving a shit" out of shear guilt, or because i feel ashamed because i am sitting on a couch watching it all happen on CNN.  i'm sitting on a couch because i just sat down from whatever the fuck i was doing all day that no fucking Haitian helped me do.  

and get this straight all you third world's 2010.  get your act together. the rest of this planet figured out a century ago that you need industry, democracy, capitalism, infrastructure...if in 2010 your ass can't even help itself then FUCK...YOU...i'm sick of seeing you assholes on CNN being oppressed by dictators YOU let take over, starving because that same dictator took all your food OR you've got such a hard on against the U.S. that you won't let them come in to show your stupid ass how to farm, or give you money for the precious recourses that your staving fly/sore riddled family are squatting over, begging us for help when some natural disaster comes because you were completely unprepared for it i.e. you have one hospital for every 10,000000 people, you live in clay huts, you have one lane of asphalt road for every 10,00000 people, and so on and so on.

and let me remind all of you and inform the rest that i said the same thing to new Orleans.  i told those assholes that had a week and a half to get the fuck out and if they found themselves sitting on a roof watching their possessions float by or found themselves  at the stadium getting raped and wondering where the food's your own fucking fault. i live in Milwaukee and i knew the hurricane was gonna hit them a week before hand.  i also know if you live in a shitty third world crap hole island eventually you are going to get hit with some sort of natural disaster and be fucked.  

we have a saying around here this time of year..."if you don't like the weather...move."

and for the 4% of people living in Haiti who are worth a damn, and where stuck staying's tragic that this happened to you but i'm not going to insult you by pretending to care.  but don't feel too bad...if at some point i say i care, you can be confident i MEAN that i care and will act on that caring in some way more substantial then sending e-mail with a picture of you under a pile of rubble with a prayer attached to it


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