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A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER

facebook sucks

I got on face book because a bunch of people i went to grade school with where "reuniting" on facebook and Dan told me i should get on board.  so i did.  and it sucks. FIRST off the simple fact that we are all linking up via facebook instead of just calling each other on the phone leads me to think that the entire idea of a reunion is a bad idea.  but whatever, i am a dinosaur, this is the age we live in - even if we where to give each other our phone numbers, we would just text instead of talk.  

on to my real point...facebook sucks ass.  it's boring, it's not user friendly...which is why i am blogging about it HERE instead of on my facebook page.  i can't figure out how to do it on my face book page, and i'm not computer illiterate by any strech of the imagination, nor can i figure out how to post any bulletins or change anything around on my main page.  as near as i can tell you can't change anything around.  it's a boring ass venue for boring people who don't want to feel bad because they are boring and/or people who don't want to admit to themselves or anyone else that they like myspace.  it is essentially myspace for grownups. boring grownups. 

and i've noticed a snobbish condescending attitude by facebook users towards myspace users...

 myspace is a huge immature waste of time...SO WHAT? so are video games, dvds, cable, and talking to your family...but we still all do that. so why hide it?  more importantly FACEBOOK is just as big a waste of time so why hobble your online fun by using an inferior version simply because it looks more professional (boring). Plus if you where strictly professional you'd have your OWN WEBSITE and would be communicating exclusively through that.  

facebook doesn't have videos or things blowing up, or podcasts of people doing stupid things, or comedians, or new bands, you can't make your page any different that anyone else's, it's a pain in the ass to load pictures up, you can't easily post things or see who posted what because the layout is tiny and random and confusing, you can't add songs you can't add videos... you can't see other peoples pages until you both agree to be friends AND if you both already know each other then you may as well just e-mail with your regular e-mail addresses because on facebook you are limited to communicating with only text anyway...it's boring, useless and outdated.

I am now officially dubbing "facebook" -"FAGbook" so when someone acts condescending towards you when you ask if they have a myspace page and say "feh, no...i don't go on myspace, i'm on facebook"  you can say "oh...you mean FAGBOOK"  and if any gay people out there are offended, feel free to come up with a better mean name to call it...i'll happily use it but until then it's FAGBOOK.

if you are on fagbook now is your chance to throw down your shackles of faux maturity and try myspace again...stop lying to yourself, you don't want health food- you want a cheeseburger, you don't want someone smart and sensitive- you want someone hot who will do whatever you say, you don't want a prius- you want a hummer, you don't want to have to raise another kid- you want to tell her to abort the sum bitch and run like hell...AND you don't want boring ass facebook- you want the kalidascope of blissful nonsense that is myspace.  so go there and don't worry about what anyone thinks...it's the internet for crying out loud why are you using your real name anyhow?!

recently in a desperate attempt to make fagbook seem interesting and seem like a place where hip people go, many fagbook users have launched protests because fagbook takes down pictures. in the most recent case fagbook took down some pics of a woman breast feeding because you could see her boob.  so all the fagbookers have picked a day to ALL put up pics of women breast feeding...that is a protest?  do you realize how  you all look? you have managed to look old AND juvinille at the same time one-only old people would have pics of someone breastfeeding handy anyway and juvenile because fagbook is a free service paid for by someone other than you...if you don't like their rules go make your own website and put whatever you want on it. 

 oh and i almost forgot HOW FUCKIN CREEPY THE WHOLE IDEA IS...you're all gonna slap up pics of your wives breast feeding and plaster them all over the internet...ARE YOU INSANE?  why don't you just take her down to a fetish club and let the freaks jerk off to her in person...at least then you'd get paid.  you think there are weirdos on myspace?  just wait til fagbooks breastfeeding protest is on...the ratio of degenerate perverts to actually normal people is going to be 2 to 1.  

ironically you don't see this sort of thing as much on myspace even though they take pics down left and right, because we on myspace have better things to do than give the middle finger to a company that is giving us a service FOR FREE...we are far too busy watching skateboarders smash their faces into street poles, music videos, reading exclusive interviews, and flirting with people too young for us. 

SO...you can go ahead and hang out with a bunch of boring grown ups plastering the internet with pics of their wives boobs and ugly babies OR you can come to the dark side and hang out with hip young creative fun interesting individuals ON MYSPACE the last greatest bastion of doing stupid nonsense that probably won't come back to haunt you...probably.

 

i am officially DONE with fagbook...my fagbook page will from now on only contain info on where to find me here or my website.

comments? concerns?

douglaspasz@gmail.com

myspace.com/douglasarseniclullaby

www.arseniclullabies.com