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 A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER

 

This is what I’ve been going on about.

 

What am I always demanding of you people?  To THINK when you are being given information….to not blindly accept what you are told as truth, but to first consider the source AND look into it before you input it into your brain as fact OR WORSE…pass it on.

 

I bring this up because we live in a democracy and my well being depends on you people using your brains AND because of three things I saw go on last week.

 

FIRST – in case you didn’t hear some book about the true life story of two people falling in love in Nazi Germany –one IN a concentration camp and one OUTSIDE of the camp-that was recommended and featured repeatedly on Oprah, turned out to be a complete fraud.  The publishing house apologized, apparently they do LESS research on the material they publish than I DO FOR MY COMIC BOOK.  Rest assured that you may look up any date, historical figure ect. that I use and it will be accurate.  I may has a typo or two but I know when ww2 started.  As a matter of fact in the last story I did with the U.S.D.T.N.Y.T I cut out a whole section about them fighting with the yakuza over territory.  They story WAS going to go- the good guys challenge the yakuza to a game of skill to decide who gets to run the abortion racket, the yakuza all being in shape and highly skilled look at the fat out of shape Americans and accept and let them choose the game.  The Americas choose bowling and win because all the yakuza have missing fingers.  See, the yakuza along with being covered with tattoos often are missing didgets for various ceremonial reasons.  Everything fit, the dates, them both working the same areas, the yakuza using tea to cause miscarriages is a well known myth…HOWEVER as it turns out they start with taking didgets off of the LEFT hand.  So It just became to unlikely/cumbersome to explain that they would all be lefty handed.  I suppose I could have just not mentioned that but what is the point of a weird quasi historically accurate story if there are flaws that people who like quasi historically accurate stories would notice?

 

Anywhoo I did that much research for a stupid 3 page story in a comic book.  Apparently Oprah and this publishing house didn’t go that far to verify anything in this book that the author was claiming to be a true story…as it turns out they met in Vermont or something.  It Should have been pretty easy to find out the author never left the u.s. much less got throw in a concentration camp.  So does this make her an anti semite?  A war profiteer? I gotta say in my humble opinion her claiming to have been in a concentration camp in order to publish a book and make money is a hellova a lot worse than me writing some holocaust jokes.  And how do you people who voted based on Oprahs recommendations feel right now?

 

SECOND- I’m watching the discovery channel, or the history channel I forget which, and they have some “professor” explaining how Moses could have parted the red sea.  It is the gentleman’s opinion that the bible is wrong, there is no God, and the sea parted through easily explained scientific means.  Now to start with…if he doesn’t believe in the bible that why try to explain how the red sea could open?  Why take a miraculous event and try to prove it’s a miracle if you don’t believe the source that told you the event happened in the first place? Just say the whole thing is made up.  There is an extra step in here that he doesn’t need…

okay whatever, the guy says there could have been a huge landbridge just under the water and a powerful enough east wind could have disturbed the water enough to reveal it and alow the Jews to get across.  to prove his theory he makes a 4 inch makeshift sea on a table, stacks a bunch of stones into a landbridge about a ½ inch below the water level and breaks out a LEAFBLOWER.  He turns on the leaf blower and points it at the stones and says –ta da! The red sea is parted.

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sigh…this guy is  PROFFESSOR… he has had many years of higher education.  He SEEMS like the type of person who would give you legitimate information.  And yet THAT was his scientific experiment.  I would have loved to have been able to ask him. A- what is the scale?  The ratio of inches of water to meters of water? What is the ratio of your LEAF PLOWER on a few inches of water to a SEA?  What does that work out to mathematically? 300 mile an hour winds?  What do you think the effect of such winds would have had on the people on the shore?  Of the shore itself? Ever heard of sandstorms?  And where the fuck did the landbridge come from?  And I can almost guarantee if there was one it wouldn’t have been made out of stones, it would have been made out of sand.  Ever try to run across wet sand?  How about sand that was just minutes ago completely under water?  There are a million questions that this “professor” didn’t have answers for.  The most important of which is WHERE DID THE WIND COME FROM?  Cause in the bible it SAYS THERE WAS A STRONG WIND.  So…we all apparently agree on the wind in the first place the question is where it came from…I mean if you don’t want to believe in God fine but then you certainly can’t believe In a guy with a big leaf blower…not if you are approaching this “scientifically”.  But that was they guys theory…he’s your boy you atheists out there…you remember this, for every kook we have that says he saw a 50 ft Jesus telling him to take peoples money, you guys have one who’s pointing a leaf blower in a choi pond.   But the main point here is- again we have information being told to us by someone who seems credible who is completely full of crap.

 

THIRD and finally we have another college educated individual ( I swear if I ever have kids and somehow i am forced to raise them, they are not going to collage) a professor of something or another who is doing research on ants.  Dangerous African ants with big chompers with venom or enzymes or something.  He throws on a bee keeper suite and shoves his hands into a nest that is roughly 4 feet deep and pulls a chunks of the nest up to look at it.  No big surprise the ants find there way into the suit and bite the living shit out of him....in a further demonstration of my theory that the more time you spend in school the dumber you get he PULLS OFF THE WHOLE SUIT TO SCRATCH HIMSELF BEFORE GETTING AWAY FROM THE NEST.  His forearms and lord knows what else was permanently scarred.

 

 So…we can determine from his research that ants are smaller than honeybees and can get into places honey bees can,t AND  that this guy never bothered to test the suit before plunging his hands into a ant hill the size of a refrigerator.

 

There you go, three recent reminders to look at everything with a cynical eye and remembering that just being published, having a PHD, or a t.v. show does not mean you know anything at all.  and i want you all to remember this. every time you get a post, or read an article or see a news story even if it's from an "expert". in fact i'd like you to picture the "expert" running around screaming as a million ants have at his unprotected skin as he struggles to get his bee keepers mask off, OR picture him blasting his leaf blower into a goldfish blow, with the miniature diver swirling around, while behind him is a chalk board full of calculations that all merge at the bottom where "x" = a stick figure of a diver upside down...OR just picture him making the entire thing up for some cash.  because the three that i mention where the one who where very obviously wrong...but there are many that are wrong but just bearly.

"believe none of what you hear and half of what you see"

 

kapeesh?