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 A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER

 

edgy?

 

Blah blah blah blog blog blog blog…look, I’m tired, I’m dis interested, I’m dispassionate (possibly not a word)  I’m not used to being productive in the winter AND it’s impossible to concentrate with the fuckin Mexican circus going on downstairs.  All things that make it difficult to write an interesting or entertaining blog.  Did I mention they got a dog?  As if there wasn’t enough fuckin noisy animals downstairs.  Who wants to place bets on which creature recognizes it’s name and is housetrained first, the dog or their “child”?  If you bet on the child you’re a sucker.

 Remember I mentioned a while back that there is a school for retarded children nearby?  No lie.. retarded orphan children have learned how to talk faster the primate downstairs.  No lie.  

They are officially evicted but the state gives them like 60 days to get the fuck out, so I’m screwed until spring basically.  I’ve done my best to get them to leave on there own by making things…oh shall we say unpleasant.  I’ve done “unpleasant” things in hopes that they would get the fuck out to avoid the “unpleasantness”  but it’s like trying to get rid of coach roaches by making your house smell.  These people are lowlifes and the usual stuff isn’t working.  I’m not going to mention what the usual stuff is because it’s all illegal, some of it’s dangerous, and frankly low character even for me. 

 Enough about them…what should I get into here?  i've decided NOT to complain about Kempo and her boyfriend here...i'm going to bitch on the podcast this weekend.  because...it's funnier when i'm yelling and the podcasts are actually getting decent enough that i'm confident in plugging them (although you might want to skip the one closest to X-mas...it's pretty depressing).  so...tune in to the Podcast Sunday.  

…Speaking of entertainers who are boring….does anyone give a rats ass about what time slot Jay Leno is in?  It’s all over the “news” that Jay leno is going back to late night and this is shaking everything up.  Where will cohen obrian end up?  How will lettermen react? What about what’s his face who comes on after obrien? 

 

Who still watches any of these shows?!  Some 50 year old in a suit with a shitty house band telling the most formatted-see it coming a mile a way- watered down jokes, and then “interviewing” pretty actors.  I put “interviewing” in “” because it’s not an interview…it’s a commercial.  The guest knows all the questions before he sits down…the host knows all the stories the guest is going to tell so that he’s prepared to say “off the cuff” comments.  It’s all ridiculous.  It’s 2010, these dumb ass talk shows are every bit as obsolete as the daily newspaper.  Does anyone actually think letterman is funny?  He’s lame and mostly just a knob and he’s the best of the bunch. 

 

Things like this are really what’s keeping me going as I work on this cartoon.  Because when it’s done there will be solid viewable evidence that comedy has evolved past all these assholes.  I mean...i am I just from some other planet that I don’t find any of the following funny?  Letterman, jay leno, Saturday night live, family guy, the simpsons, robot chicken…these are supposed to be cutting edge programs (by network standards)…to me they are all so painfully unfunny that 90% of the time I can’t even figure out what I’m supposed to be laughing at.

 

 Letterman is a famous douche bag who makes fun of famous douche bags, completely unaware of the irony. 

 

Family guy?  Hey…it’s a baby, but it’s really smarter than the grown ups…wow…what a knee slapper of an idea that is…oh wait the dog talks?!  Holy shit, where do I get a dvd box set?! 

 

I won’t even bother making fun of Saturday night live. 

 

And robot chicken?…yeash…find a toy that is from the 80’s make it act out of character and then die, rinse, repeat.

 

Think I’m being too hard on them?  Imagine if you will how much they get paid…under the ruse that they are professional writers.  They spend more on cocaine than you will on college for that watered down crap.  now you may be thinking "oh you're jealous that they are racking in the cash...that's your real beef"...no my beef is that they are pretenders walking around being proclaimed "edgy" "dark"...the worst premise i came up with in ten years is darker then their darkest idea.  i used to hear the term "i shit bigger than you" and i never understood it...now i do.  bigger is defined as "meaningful, having gravitas, having substance, worth."  shit is defined as "shit" "you" is defined as "what you are" "your existence".  so in declaring "i shit bigger than you" to the entities mentioned, i am saying that my excrement is a bigger event then your entire existence. i still find the phrase vulgar...but i get it now.

 

anyway, is it any wonder I’m so disinterested and apathic?  I’m living above a zoo and all around me pop-culture is telling me that programs that are so vanilla that I would shoot myself in if I created them are edgy. 

 

Would the following people please die.

 

Seth mcfarland

Seth green

Seth roagn

Paul ruud

Letterman

Leno

The entire cast of Saturday night live

The writing staff of the simpsons (they've been phoning it in for ten years)

The cast of Seinfeld (i know the show is over but they still need to pay)

Vince Vaugn (yeah he’s still sort of okay…that’s why he has to die now…before he becomes one of them)

I know there’s more that deserve to be on this list but that’s all the thought I feel like putting into it.  None of this is really going to change of course until all the baby boomers retire/ die.  It has to be them, who else still thinks it’s edgy to make fun of TV. sitcoms.  We all know they are shit…they know they are shit…what does doing a parody of one accomplish?

 

Oh lord I almost forgot Aston kutcher…who’s that guy fucking to keep getting work?

 

comments? concerns?

douglaspasz@gmail.com

myspace.com/douglasarseniclullaby

www.arseniclullabies.com


 

 

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