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Am I the only one who deals with this shit?

This summer has been a real education let me tell ya.  And I’m not just talking about making the cartoon…this has been an education regarding how the people around me view me.

I warn you I’m going to sound like a typical pompous asshole artist, but I see now that I have only two choices

1- Continue with the modest, self depreciating humor, and well grounded manner which people have apparently taken so far in that they view me as a fool.

2-be a defensive pompous ass. 

I’m going to try the pompous ass thing on for awhile and see how it fits. 

See I have spent almost as much time this summer telling people I don’t have any time as I would have spent wasting time with them instead of working, if you add to that the time I’m now spending trying to reassure people that I’m not pissed at them and was simply too busy to do anything, I’m probably in the red. 

Do these assholes understand what “busy” means?  BUSY…means I don’t have time for their goofy shit.  Goofy shit includes ANYTHING not related to what I am BUSY with.    My intern submitted her hours spent working so I could finish the review for her college credits.  469.5 hours spent WORKING between the end of may and the end of July.  That’s 57 hours a week…and that’s HER hours.  Not MY hours…MY hours were higher.  Add to those hours the STRESS and the time spent dwelling on and rethinking the project as we go along and MAYBE if they have two brain cells in thier heads that aren’t focused on themselves….they MIGHT be able to understand why I couldn’t go to the ball game, family function, or whatever the fuck pointless activity they felt was so lacking in joy because of my absence.

And I’m not talking about the few who called to check up on me, or called to see if I needed to get out of the house…I’m talking about people (grown people mind you) who got bent out of shape when I didn’t answer the phone, or return a pointless text message or pointless e-mail.  I didn’t have fucking time, get it?  I could have spent the 20 minutes in a pointless conversation (multiplied by 12 of you equaling 240 minutes or FOUR HOURS) or put my head down and continued working…oh what’s that?  Maybe they  hadn’t considered that SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT ASLO BE CALLING ME?  THAT MANY OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT BE CALLING ME? And that the grand total of dealing with ALL OF THESE PEOPLE who think that I should stop what I’m doing to placate them might add up to a significant amount of time…that’s because they are narcissistic assholes, who do not actually give a fuck about what I’m trying to accomplish if it means I can’t fix thier car window motor.  Or perhaps they are lazy losers who can’t comprehend the fact that I can’t blow off an afternoon to go do some silly shit with them. 

“dude, come on…it’ll take like two hours, are you telling me you can’t stop for a couple of hours?”

Sure I could stop for a couple of hours…and come Comic-Con my product could be two hours of work worse than it could have been if I just declined doing some dumb ass thing with you.   I could do that but I would be FUCKING MYSELF OVER …and those people pestering me are in a sense asking me to fuck myself over so that they can have a good time for an afternoon, they are in a sense telling me that a few hours of extra effort on my part won’t make any difference, they are in a sense admitting that they don’t think what I do is hard and don’t see it any differently than turing a screw…just stop for awhile and turn the screw more later.  The creative process doesn’t work like that, it requires you to engulf yourself in the work and concetract on it completely with no outside distractions…oh I’m sorry did I sound like a dousche-bag artist there?  We how would YOU explain it to these assholes?

And by the way 95% of my family couldn’t name the title of my comic book if you put a gun to their heads, and yet I’M SUPPOSED TO STOP WHAT I,M DOING FOR THIER KIDS BIRTHDAY?  

This summer I just flat out told everyone to go to hell and stopped returning phone calls by about mid may…and somehow I’m the asshole.  Well…whatever, I’m an asshole who made a cartoon pilot that will be seen by every major cable network, I’m the asshole who put 30 minutes of joy into the lives of the people who watch it, I’m the asshole who realizes that in all reality I only had a handful of people who believed in what I do, and weren’t under the impression that I live off the state and sell my comic on the side to twenty or thirty weirdos.


 Now, back to the intern, reactions to my getting an intern ranged from”  heh, how’d you pull that off?” to “she’s getting college credit?!…for working with you?”.  yes assholes someone got college credit for LEARNING from me.  See…I’m a famous illustrator in case you didn’t know…in case at no point during the time you’ve known me did you bother to notice what I did for a living, let me run down my credentials-  Ten year veteran in the comic books industry, nominated for said industries two highest awards,  regularly published in the worlds no.1 humor magazine MAD MAGAZINE,  and my own comic book has been published in two languages.   I’ve done more radio interviews, podcast interviews and interviews by comic book magazines and pop culture websites than I can count.  Try turning off network t.v. once in awhile and you might know who I am.    See once you leave the world of dousche bags who only call me when they need their car fixed, help moving, or need help with some hair brained scheme, I’m actually well respected.

But I see now that this is my fault.  It is my fault for not walking around with a big head and puffing my chest out and going on and on about myself and my accomplishments like a pompuse asshole.  It is my fault for just being a normal guy and allowing my self depreciating humor to take center stage and assuming that people around me would be able decern the difference between me joking about not having a real job and me not actually having a job.  It is my fault for thinking that they would be able to grasp that just because I don’t have regular hours that I still work for a living.   It is my fault for not sitting each one of them down and going on at length about how good I am at my job and how only a handful of people on this planet can do it at my level.

And it’s my fault for not going into depth about how during the summer months when the comic book industry is busy…I am swamped with work.  WORK…for me is not sitting in front of a computer or seeing how much of my pussy 8 hour work day I can spend fucking off without the boss noticing.  WORK for me is attempting to put out a product better than the product of other people who are more talented than I am, better educated, and better funded.   And every year I pull this trick off and make it look easy and that is why a college would think it is perfectly reasonable to give college credit to someone to come and LEARN from me.

Should that person get college credit to watch them look at porn or u-tube when the boss isn’t looking?  Should that person get college credit for watching them talk to their fiancé for an hour and a half while pretending to be placing orders? I do things that have never been done before and I work my ass off at it.  I don’t spend 8 hours half assing my way through the day and then sit on my ass in front of the t.v. drunk while I mutter about what a ball buster my boss is.


In the interest of fairness…a friend of mine thought that I was taking things a bit too personally and perhaps should be more understanding to people who don’t realize how difficult what I do is…okay…I will give that some though.  I suppose if at no point in thier wasted life have they ever concentrated on anything, at no point have they ever had a deadline, a final exam to cram for, a project that absolutely needed to be completed by a certain point no matter what the man hours involved added up to…if at NO POINT in thier ENTIRE life have they had a chunk of time that was so busy that they had no time to even return a phone call…if thier life has been so benign and pointless that they NEVER experienced this…then fine…I understand that they are a narcissists and cannot grasp anyone’s life being significantly different from their own and I will give them a pass.

now, you might be thinking, aren't all these people going to see this blog. to which i would reply "have you not paid attention to anything i've just written?" NO they won't see this blog, becuase they never go to the web site, hell, apparently they don't even read my facebook posts even though we are "facebook friends" and i posted about half a dozen curt posts about how you should all fuck off and leave me alone until August. Or they just assume that those psots applied to everyone but which case i can safely assume they think THIS BLOG applies to everyone but them. sure maybe one or two people WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO HELP this summer might incorrectly thnk it applies to them but i see those people enough that they'll mention it and i'll mention that it doens't.


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