“Suicide
isn’t the answer.”
You hear
that a lot, usually from people who have zero idea what you are
going through.
I know what you’re going through, so I’m NOT
going to tell you that.
I’m going
to tell you the truth…no one knows if it’s the answer, but there
is only one irreversible way to find out that it isn’t.
Assuming
your life has led you to the point where you are ready to find
out, we can also assume based on your judgment, luck or the way
the dice are rolling for you, that anything you do is probably
going to turnout badly. SO …doing something irreversible that’s
bad …would be bad, and irreversible. You’re at the dark, bleak,
painful rock bottom. You are at the lowest emotional point man
is capable of reaching, accept the fact… that because of all
this, your head is not in the game and there may be variables
you’re not considering that could be made worse. If you’re life
went to hell while you were in charge of it…you are clearly not
qualified to decide if this is a good time to end it.
I am going to
repeat that, and slightly differently to be sure you get it.
If your life is in such dire straights that you can think of no
way forward other than to end it…you are currenty, truely not
qualified to decide if ending it is the correct option.
So, what
about that gut wrenching pain that you cannot shake? That isn’t
going away and needs to be dealt with NOW?
Here are
some things to try to ease it long enough to get your head
together.
1-do
anything you want. Quit smoking three years ago? fuck it, smoke
a cigarette. Eat a cheeseburger that’s full of cholesterol.
spend your last 9 dollars on a movie…or sneak in. do something,
anything. Something small…and enjoy it. Enjoy it as though it’s
the last time you will ever do it. Because that’s what we are
talking about here right? Do some small thing that you enjoy as
though it’s the last time and realize how great that small thing
is…and realize you can do it again tomorrow.
2- Vent…to
anyone. Call someone and vent, cry, scream. Is it 3:00 am? Who
gives a fuck, wake someone up…because you can bet your ass that
person you are afraid to wake up will be the first asshole at
your funeral lamenting that they wished they could have done
something.
3- Get the
fuck out of the house. Don’t stay isolated with dark thoughts in
a place where there is no one around as a contrast. Get out and
go to a store, a fast food restaurant. Don’t have any money?
Fuck it, order a water and sit there, Go to a library, go
somewhere crowded…if nothing else, the noise, the obnoxious
superficial problems you overhear against your will, will at
least get you annoyed at your fellow man instead of focused on
your own problems.
4-Get in
an argument. I don’t mean something meaningful and emotionally
draining …I mean some silly flame war on the internet. You’re
full of anxiety, and while it feels like you are drained and
exhausted, you’re actually full of energy that you have no
outlet for. Your engine is overheating and stalling out. You
have to burn out the fuel. Get on the internet and argue about
Rutherford B Hayes or sponge bob square pants being better than
Ren and Stimpy. Argue and get into over something. Use up that
energy on something that isn’t going to keep you focused on what
brought you to this point.
5- Laugh.
Find something that makes you laugh and watch it. Don’t turn on
some sad music, or a movie that’s going to help you pick at the
wounds. Find something that will force a laugh out of you. Fuck
how you feel, fuck whether or not you deserve it, go to
something and get a laugh. You can stop to do that, there's no stop watch ticking.
If nothing comes to mind try
this
https://arseniclullabies.com/ASVxmasbunker.html
Rinse
…repeat. You can always kill yourself later…you can always kill
yourself later…you can always kill yourself LATER. You will
always have that option, until you use it. You might as well
just do one more thing…and one more thing…
See you
tomorrow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
use this if you need it-
douglaspasz at arseniclullabies.com it'll be checked 4 times a
day
You can dump your problems on me, or
listen to mine, or we can talk about Rick and Morty or whatever.
That's an option you have now, and you haven't used it yet.
HOMEPAGE
