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A WORD FROM OUR FOUNDER
dos and don't
Convention season is upon us...here are some tips on convention edict.
FIRST ...i'd like some sort of consensus on how many times we need to say hello to each other...what i mean by that is- at some of these shows, depending on the size, you'll see the same person half a dozen times or more. Once or twice at your table, several times as they are walking past on the way to something else, several times as I am walking to something else. If it is a fellow Pro, several times as i walk past their table...and after four times of nodding my head and going "how's the show treating you?" i feel like a moron. Let say this- three acknowledgements of each other and then we just put our heads down and pretend to not see each other.
DO come to us EARLY if you want a shirt or a statue or artwork ...these things go fast especially normal sizes.
DO bring back issues of A.L.or Mad, i'm always happy to sign them
DO bring sketchbooks ...i don't charge for sketches unless it's something really time consuming. If you want a complicated comission you are best off e-mailing me ahead of time so i can have it done and ready for you at a show. I need about a week before a regular sized show and a month before a large show like San Diego becuase i have other things going on to deal with along with comission orders, so the more notice you give me the better it will turn out. If you order a comission at a show it will either not get done before the show is over and need to be mailed to you or will look like crap.
Do bring energy drinks as a gift. I am partial to "rockstar" or "NOS"
Do expect me to be every bit the ornery jerk you know and love from the Blogs and Podcasts. I am what i am. The longer we talk the higher the chances you're going to get some abuse, just like with the blogs or Podcast I'm just having a few laughs at the expense of whatever is in front of me, so if you are skittish it's best to keep things brief. And just like the Blogs and Podcast feel free to give it right back, i won't cry or get offened.
DON'T be offended if i cut our conversation short to move more comics. At a show i'm essentially at work. Remember this is what i do for a living, at these shows i need to move as many books, comics, t-shirts etc as i can. So at most shows especially the busy ones, i need to burn and churn. I won't have a ton of time to talk. As much as i appreciate you all if i spent 15 minutes talking to each of you i'd be homeless.
DON'T be nervous talking to me, i'm just a jerk with allot of talent. I don't think i'm better than anyone And don't think what i do is particularly import nat in the grand scheme of things.
Don't be offended if i don't remember you...this goes double if you are a fat white guy in a t-shirt and baseball cap...one of several thousand i'll see that month. I mean...give me a break would ya? My brain is overtaxed as it is, it's unreasonable for me to remember if we talked before. Some people get a look on their face like i was just being a suck up the first time to move some books. Trust me that isn't the case, if it seems like i liked you, then i liked you ...i just have a hard time remembering everyone. If i didn't like you i would have been a knob, it's not worth the ten bucks to be nice to someone i think is a dickhead. In fact i've been know to refuse to sell to, or even raise the price to people who i find irritating. By the way if the first thing that comes out of your mouth is telling me about a typo...or about YOUR book ...expect the price to go up.
DO bring you portfolio BUT DON'T do so when i am busy. DON'T expect a job or me to publish your book, no matter how good you are i am simply not interested in having anyone else draw A.L. or investing MY money in YOUR idea.
DO expect a hash and brutal review of your portfolio. If you want a pat on the back, take it somewhere else. If you bring it to me i am going to dissect if like a coroner. This is in your best interest...do you want to learn or don't you?
DO take notes as i brutalize your portfolio, i will be giving you advice beyond what your dumb ass art teachers are telling you, advice from the years of study practice and skill in a specific industry and it is worth writing down. If you don't have anything with you to take note then i will not review your portfolio. Why should i waste my time if you aren't going to take my advice seriously?
Don't ask me to hang out after the show, after a show i am exhausted and tired of talking to people so it is rare to see me at an after party or hanging out with other pros or readers.. Plus there isn't enough time for me to go have drinks with every single person who wants to see what i'm like drunk. You wanna know what i'm like drunk? I'm boring and fall asleep quickly...or occasionally i'm commiting some heinous act. And i only go that route with people i know for a fact can keep thier mouth shut. You think in this day and age of cell phone cameras and twitter i'm going to break the leg off on a giant fiberglass horse in front of a gas station with someone i just met? nope.
If i do have a magic moment and you see me after a show, here are guidelines for that.
DON'T offer me a beer...i drink Vodka...bottom shelf only.
DON"T expect me to pick up the next round ...i'm a world class illustrator...in the comic book world that's like having long blond hair and huge tits ...i don't pay.
DON'T expect me to talk about comics ...i just did that for eight hours during the show.
DO expect to get into an argument about politics, religion, or Brett Farve...especially after i've had a few free drinks.
Don't expect me to sleep with you. Perhaps my piers go out and nail groupies but for me sleeping with a total stranger who likes me because you draw nazis and cartoon fetuses seems like taking my life in my own hands.
That about covers it. I realize now that these do's and don'ts have made meeting me sound like a giant pain in the ass...that isn't really the case. KNOWING ME PERSONALLY is a giant pain in the ass. Ask anyone i know and they will tell you, dealing with me briefly is really the way to go.
SE YOU AT THE SHOWS!